Being a pro domme* has given me a boost in confidence re: my personal life, I think. I mean it’s kind of fascinating and awesome to realize that the things I love to do have a monetary value, and it’s quite a high one.
So I was texting with The Bunny and this happened:
Me: Just think: people are gonna pay hundreds of dollars an hour for me to CBT them and you get it for free. [New message] AND I’ll do NICE things to your C and Bs, too, which I wouldn’t do for clients at any price.
Bunny: Ah, yes. This dilemma.
Me: Dilemma? [He sometimes misuses words; I honestly wasn’t sure if he really meant this was an issue, or if he was concurring with me that it’s awesome.]
Bunny: You do sex stuff people pay for, but I don’t pay for the same stuff. But you can have sex with me. [New message] PIV sex. [New message] But yeah, it’s the “I make money from this” which sorta can be an elephant in the room.
Me: Haven’t made money from it yet. 😛 But elephant in what way?
Bunny: Well again it’s stuff you get paid to do with other people while I don’t pay for it. :S
Me: And this makes you feel…?
Bunny: Special. But worried.
Me: You are special. ❤ [New message] What are your worries?
Bunny: I just think it could be hung over my head.
Me: Nah. 🙂 [New message] I worry that you’ll hang it over MY head, actually.
Bunny: I’m not sure how I could. :S
Me: “Oh sure, you wear stockings all the time for random dudes but you don’t wanna tonight, for me.”
Bunny: Oh no, I know you don’t like it for super long times. [New message] If it was all the time, it wouldn’t be fun.
Me: And anyway THAT is a job and WE are about enjoyment, so it’s pointless to compare the two things. If/when I wear stockings at work it won’t be for random dudes. It’ll be for MONEY. Important difference.
Bunny: I don’t want you to see this as work you make money from. It’s okay to enjoy this work.
Me: You…are amazing. 🙂 [New message] Thank you for reassuring me that if I end up liking the work, it won’t be weird for you. I kind of didn’t realize that was on my mind until you said it.
…And it’s true, too. I think I’ve been trying to be all blasé about this with The Bunny and minimize the fact that there are aspects I’m looking forward to (besides the cash). This boy is a puzzle. Sometimes he seems so emotionally stunted, and other times he comes out with this amazing, insightful, supportive stuff.
He went on to reveal to me that his previous dominant partner had been a full-on escort and would tell him work stories all the time. He was totally fine with this. Titillated, even.
This is a woman he was casually seeing, and would have kept seeing but she broke it off with him when she met someone she wanted a monogamous relationship with. So he has experience dating a sex worker and it didn’t faze him. He probably isn’t going to stumble over hidden emotional triggers with me and my pro domme thing and get freaked out. Good to know.
Another day, another text conversation; we were talking again about pro domming and The Bunny said he was jealous there seems to be no market for male pro doms or pro switches.
Bunny: I think it would be awesome if a woman paid me to tie a Hitachi to her cooch while I taunt her.
Me: There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERY GUY EVER. 😛
Bunny: No, every guy wants to bang all the ladies, I wanna Hitachi all the ladies and taunt them. No sex needed. EVEN IF THEY BEG.
Me: You make a compelling point.
Me: And oddly, I really wanna watch you make a lady beg for your cock and not give it. [New message] Or – oooooh – give it to ME instead. In front of her. While I narrate how amazing it is.
Bunny: But that takes some work to find a willing chick.
Me: Especially difficult because I’m picky. I wanna be turned on by this, and that won’t happen with just any old chick. There needs to be chemistry. [Note: The Bunny and I have talked about co-topping a chick before. The proposed scenario was that we’d both do sadistic things to her, and MAYBE I’d do some sexual things to/with/for her if everyone wanted to, but mostly I’d probably leave the sexy stuff to The Bunny.]
Bunny: See the trick would be finding one you like to see in agony, but who I don’t care to fuck. [I guess he was assuming that in a co-topping-a-chick situation, I was ruling out PIV with the other chick. I’m actually not…although I’m not totally definitely fine with the prospect, either, so I didn’t correct the assumption.] Which can be a lot of people. Hit or pass is like a light switch when devotion and respect is in play.
Me: What do you mean?
Bunny: If it were established I don’t have sex with the third party, I don’t have sex with the third party.
Oh. Oh wow. He meant that if I told him “We’re gonna do a scene with this chick but don’t bang her,” he wouldn’t even be tempted to. The entire urge would flick off like a switch because I said no. Because he’s devoted to me and respects my wishes that much.
That doesn’t suck.
*Well, theoretically. I haven’t done a session yet.