My body and I have had our differences*, but I do love my genetics/metabolism.

I am 6′ tall. My weight, for most of my adult life, has hovered around 160-165lbs.

Recently, I realized I’d crept up to 185lbs without noticing. I did not like this. First off, my art modelling career sometimes involves costumes and I can’t afford to grow out of mine. Secondly, I prefer the way I look when I’m a bit thinner. Thirdly, this weight gain puts me squarely in the space between regular and plus sizes, which makes finding clothes (for my bottom half, anyway) really difficult and frustrating if I do decide I can afford to buy some.

But even twenty pounds over my “normal” weight (which wasn’t super skinny to begin with) I was still basically hourglass-shaped, just a little thicker. And it’s pretty easy for me to lose weight**: I stopped keeping mayonnaise in the house a couple of weeks ago, and generally tried to be more conscientious of my fat intake, and my waist and hips are down an inch already. I was meaning to exercise more, too, but haven’t been feeling up to it lately. So it was just the dietary change that did it. I don’t eat less than before, and I still mostly eat the same things. Just no mayo and limited salad dressing.

Now, you have to understand that I chunked up in the first place because my eating habits had gotten craaaaaaazy. I have this chicken soup thing I make in the slow cooker and I’d been in the habit of making it into a “cream soup” by stirring about two tablespoons of mayo into every bowl I ate. And I’ll usually eat almost nothing but soup all day if there’s some available, because I’ve been feeling too low-energy to cook/prepare something every single time I wanna eat, so I was probably adding an extra hundred grams of fat/thousand calories a day to my diet some days. Easily.

Still. My body’s natural “levelling off” point of 165lbs looks socially-acceptably-thin on me, and when I eat too much crap and gain weight I still look socially-acceptably-thin because the fat mostly lands on my hips/thighs/ass and my waist stays comparatively narrow. And I can shed extra weight almost effortlessly. Some people aren’t so lucky, on any of those fronts.

I’m not sure if this makes up for the bad things my body does to me. But it’s something.

*Thanks a lot for the food sensitivities, OCD, anxiety, and depression, asshole!

**Up to a point. I would imagine if I wanted to be lighter than 160lbs that would take a lot of work.

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