A few hours before The Bunny was slated to arrive, when he was still at work:
Bunny: So I’m a bit stressed from today’s bullshit.
Me [thinking “uh-oh…is he about to cancel?”]: I’m sorry to hear that.
Bunny: I am still comin’ but we might have to tone down any of the extreme stuff today. [Wow, he’s actually using his words somewhat today…]
Me: What counts as extreme for you?
Bunny: Penetration, bondage. Pain.
Me: Vanilla sexytimes are still on the table?
Bunny: Oh yeah. Groping and fondling, teasing.
Me: Okay cool. Thanks for the heads up. 🙂 [Talking this openly doesn’t seem to come naturally to The Bunny, so I always make an effort to let him know I appreciate it – and not seem disappointed by the things he tells me, lest this frighten him off from telling the truth next time.]
When The Bunny arrived, I told him to strip. I had a feeling he wouldn’t be up for sex, but I wanted him naked, anyway. I wanted the eye candy and I wanted the skin-to-skin contact. The Bunny did strip…down to his boxers and no further. Which I took as a pretty huge confirmation that I would not be getting laid that night. I still wanted access to his penis, but decided not to push the issue at that exact moment.
We snuggled and watched some Futurama, and eventually I started tugging his boxers down. “What, not even any foreplay?” The Bunny asked, in a mock-scandalized voice.
“Are you like The Crushinator?*” I asked, smiling. “Do I need to woo you first?”
The Bunny said I did, so I petted and kissed his torso for a while. When I licked his nipples they immediately got hard and he began gasping and squirming, and yet he batted my head away and said “This isn’t working for me today.” Alrighty then.
As I continued kissing and touching him, The Bunny pretty much just kept on watching Futurama; he kind of acknowledged that I was doing stuff, but didn’t respond much, if you see what I mean. I wasn’t offended; I’d already guessed that sexytimes weren’t in the offing. I was enjoying just being close to him, in this relaxed, unhurried, non-goal-oriented way. Eventually I tried tugging down his boxers again, and he lifted up his ass to assist me. I’d been craving the taste of his cock, so I licked and sucked on him for a little bit. He got ever-so-slightly fluffed, but nowhere near hard.
When I came back up to lie next to The Bunny, he started lethargically wanking. It came up later that he figured I was expecting to fuck him that night, so I suppose he was trying half-heartedly to get hard. It didn’t really work. He persisted for seriously an hour…at the time I didn’t know he was trying to get it up for my benefit or I would’ve stopped him. I really had no particular expectations of him and am sad that he was maybe feeling pressured to perform.
Since at the time I thought he was touching himself because he was enjoying it on some level, I was getting a wee bit turned on watching him. I grabbed the Hitachi and rubbed out a quickie, lying in the warm smooth curve of his body and idly watching his hand move up and down his cock. Then I fell asleep for an hour or so, just barely aware of The Bunny cuddling and petting me while I dozed. I always have the best naps when cartoons and petting are involved. 🙂
After The Bunny left, we had a fairly illuminating text conversation:
Bunny: I’m sorry for my wetfishness today. Work has not been kind to me in the ‘don’t stress Bunny’ department. As a result, my drive is almost non-existent.
Me: I got warm nekkid spoonings so I’m happy. 🙂
Bunny: Also, I think we’re going to have to take orgasm control off the table.
Me: Okay. [New message] but if you have no drive anyway, how does it make a difference? 😛
Bunny: I think it keeps me unstressed really well and sexy thoughts a lot more in my mind. [New message] Sort of like a pilot light.
Me: Wanking does, you mean?
Me: I totally get that. And excellent analogy, btw. [New message] Bunch of years ago I experimented with my own denial and that’s how it went.
Bunny: Like it all died on you?
Me: Well, this was when I was an uberhorny teenager…my bf and I would make pacts not to get off until we saw each other. [New message] It was torture to the point of actual crotch pain and when I was finally allowed to come it took way longer than it should have, oddly. [New message] Now that I’m less of a horndog, it’s more the pilot light thing. If I don’t keep at least a tiny flame lit, my body just gives up.
Bunny: Yeah I think my energies went to not going insane and everything else became unnecessary.
We talked about his job for a bit, and why it’s stressing him out so much. Then:
Me: You don’t have to apologize for not fuckin’ me. I like cartoons ‘n’ spooning just as much (but in a different way). 🙂
Bunny: I just don’t want to go in with an expectation and not fulfill it.
Me: The only thing I was expecting from you was skin-to-skin contact in some capacity. And I was hoping for a taste of your penis ’cause I’ve been craving that. Which I got, so yay. 🙂 [New message] Whatever way things went from there was fine by me.
Me: My libido is mighty, but flexible. 🙂
Bunny: 🙂 [New message] Anyways I think things will calm soon. Then we get you a new dick n have fun. [I think by ‘new dick’ he means a new strap-on toy, but I’m not sure.]
Me: That’s good. I hate to see you stressed. [New message] And…hmmm. I guess I feel sad that I can’t fix it. [New message] Like…stress takes the edge off my sex drive, too, but pettings will almost always make me bounce back to a point where I’m at least receptive to gettin’ it on. [New message] So my tendency is to assume everyone else works like that, too.
Bunny: Sometimes I need some solitary [New message] With porn [Not gonna lie, that stabbed me in the heart a little bit. It’s hard to deal with the idea that he’d rather get off to some random woman on a screen when I’m RIGHT THERE perfectly willing to focus ALL my attentions on getting him off. But I do know what it’s like to need to do self-care without having to worry about anyone else.]
Me: Because you don’t have to worry about anyone but yourself?
Bunny: I get to focus on me. Even if the porn is gone.
Me: I can understand that. [I can, too. My knee-jerk reaction is still “Owwwwww” but I do get it.]
Bunny: Eventually once I”m destressed and happy, sex desire will come back. [But wanking IS sexual desire. Isn’t it? Why won’t he spend it on meeeeeee?!?!? Okay, easy does it, the boy has a right to his alone-time…]
Me: And me focusing on you is still not as worry free as solo-with-porn?
Bunny: No. I just need a bit o space to gather myself.
Me: For whatever it’s worth, times you’ve given me a heads up about feeling stressed out, I was more than willing to make it all about you with no expectations.
Bunny: I never really like sitting back and being pampered.
The conversation trailed off at this point…it’s late-ish, so perhaps he fell asleep. At any rate, I’m please that he spoke with me this frankly and happy that I now have a much better idea of what he needs.
Oh, tangent: it came up this evening that The Bunny has only come from oral sex, like, once in his life (the first time anyone ever did it for him, so I guess the novelty put him over the edge). So now I’m feeling all competitive and want to be the next one to break that barrier. 😛 He says he takes too long to come, and that’s why oral has barely ever worked for him (I guess his partner gives up), but see…the way I do it, I can go indefinitely. I will conquer him. Oh yes I will.
And yeah, I know what a turn-off it can be to make someone’s orgasm into a personal challenge. I’m going to try to conceal this competitive streak from him. But oh goddammit I wanna make him come in my mouth.
*A reference to the episode of Futurama we’d just watched. Bender falls for a girl-robot, The Crushinator, but says something about how she’s not the kind of girl you just hit on – you gotta romance her.