Well, that escalated quickly.

I have some Bunny texts I want to record for posterity (…is why I started writing this entry.  But stay tuned for a giant plot twist!!!!!!!1!).

Tonight he was going on and on about some chick he messaged on FetLife a while back.  Apparently she’d put a personal ad up looking for friends/mentors/etc. to talk about D/s with, and he volunteered himself in that capacity.  The conversation trailed off though and he’s seen her put up a few more ads since (the latest more partner-oriented, not that it matters).  He kept on telling me that this confused him and I kept basically saying “Dude, it’s pretty obvious that for whatever reason, you’re not what she was looking for.  So she stopped talking to you and put up ads looking for more people.  I do not see where your confusion lies.”  Then he went off on a tangent about how he just wishes people would be honest, which (when I questioned what he meant by this) boiled down to him wanting to be explicitly rejected, in words, rather than rejected in the fucking obvious and common way of just having the conversation end.  I don’t understand why anyone would want someone to go out of their way to say “I DO NOT WANT YOU,” but whatever.

At one point he said “Ps, mature women are awesome.  You’re the bestest since you only seem to stop talking to people when they get incurable stupids.”  The Bunny’s main issue with the aforementioned FetLife chick seems to be that her initial ad only asked for friends, and he offered friendship, and she didn’t take it.  He seems to have the attitude of “I wasn’t being creepy so why wouldn’t she talk to me?” (which is fallacious because most people do need some kind of conversational chemistry even for friendship – it is entirely feasible that The Bunny just didn’t appeal to this chick even in a friend way).  Anyway, his compliment sounds like it’s saying “Yay for you, you’ll keep on making conversation even if it’s boring the shit out of you, as long as the guy isn’t actually being a douche” but I think what he meant was that he likes that I’m open to friendship.  I don’t need a dude to be hot in order to talk to me.

Anyhoo, then The Bunny started railing about the dating scene in general – how he’s talked to a dozen women in the last month but nothing went anywhere, and how he bakes for god’s sake and “if you could have cupcakes any time you wanted, at home, in bed, at like 3am, would you not get on that shit?”  I said maybe the women in question don’t care about baked goods.  Or want a guy who bakes but is blonde.  Or tall.  Or Asian.  Or whatever – my point being that people want certain things and they are allowed to want them.

Honestly, The Bunny’s rants were starting to get repetitive.  He seemed like he was dwelling on the negative in a way that was not productive.  Also, the conversation was kinda boring me.  So:

Me:  So, you know I empathize and am supportive of your quest to get banged by many ladies…but after a certain point it feels bizarre that you’re acting like dating is hopeless and sad TO THE PERSON WHO’S DATING YOU.  I have reached my quota for now.  Suck up to me and tell me why I’m awesome.

The Bunny’s phone apparently can only hold so many text messages, and when it reaches its limit, it crashes or something…he has to delete a bunch of stuff to be able to text again and it takes a while.  Evidently he was so anxious for me to know he wasn’t ignoring my request for compliments that he both FetLife messaged me and called me to let me know it was just a technical issue keeping him from texting back.  His phone call confused me mightily because normally he only calls me to leave wank voicemails and his wanking process takes a while; he would not normally be able to leave me a WankMail just five minutes after having a conversation with me.  Or maaaaybe he could if it were a sexy conversation, but obviously this one was not.  But no, when I confusedly dialled into my voicemail it was just him saying “My texts are full!  That’s why I haven’t replied!”

When The Bunny regained his ability to text:

Bunny: It’s not a quest to get banged by many ladies.  It’s a quest to meet people and then maybe be banged.

Me: Not the point. 😛

Bunny: However I am sorry if I have made this awkward and come across as crass/crude. [New message] And I did mention your awesomeness. [New message]   However, dropping the D word! :O  [New message] There will be a voicemail shortly. [I want MOAR talk about how great I am, though…is he avoiding this?]

Me: Meh, I’m not super upset or anything.  Just reminding you I’m not chopped liver…also it was starting to seem like you were focusing on the negative in an unproductive way.  [New message] Yay voicemail!!!  [New message] The new ringtone makes your wanking SUPER dramatic btw.  Such gravitas.

Bunny: All in all, I just like meeting people a fraction as awesome as you. [New message] Again, you’re mature (regardless of how immature you act), you communicate (even when you’re getting frustrated by me) and stuff ‘n’ things.  [Damn.  That’s more like it!]

Then he randomly texted me a hilariously dorky picture of his cat that had me laughing until I could barely breathe.  A while after that, he left me that voicemail.

We chatted a bit more about random shit, and then it suddenly caught up to me that the “D-word” he acted shocked over was “dating.”

Me: Why the shocked face at me “dropping the d-word” btw?

Bunny: Messing with you. [I do not know what to think about this.  Was he messing with me?  Or was he subtly telling me he would not use that particular word to describe what we’re doing, but then backpedalled when he thought I might be mad?  And then it struck me that if he IS in a headspace where he thinks of us as something less than dating, I might as well know now.  So…]

Me: I was gonna say…if THAT freaked you out then dropping the L-bomb would make you shit yourself…which would be hilarious, if somewhat insulting…

Bunny: Lol.

Me: Hey, Bunny.  I love you.

Bunny: D’aww. [New message] I love lamp. [New message] I love window. [New message] I love cable.

…Which, actually, brings us up to seven minutes ago.  I have not responded to his jackassery and deflection.  I’m kinda curious to see if an awkward silence will scare some kind of truth out of him.  So far, it’s looking like no.

My read on the situation is that he’s not wanting to bolt or anything, but he’s not ready to say the word back, either.  All of which is fine.  I’m just gonna leave it alone for now.  I’ve told him how I feel, and that’s good enough.

And, fine, I just broke the text-silence with a silly emoticon so he knows I’m not mad or anything.



April 7, 2014 · 4:20 am

4 responses to “Well, that escalated quickly.

  1. tkiyh

    he sounds quite assholish to me

  2. Kay

    Okay, I kind of want to smack Bunny upside the head for that response -_- …the “D word” thing has me totally confused as well. Over-text confusion happens with my bf too, who likes to joke around*, and sometimes I end up going, “I sincerely don’t know what you mean by that” and he knows that I have anxiety stuff and mostly interpret everything literally, and he re-phrases and then it makes sense, and it’s never been anything hurtful in the end. But I guess for this approach to work you’d have to first feel comfortable telling him straight up you don’t understand what he’s on about and then secondly trust that his ensuing explanation is true. :/

    *The only example I can think of, which is not really a joke, is when I texted him I had gotten something for us (it was a dessert). Him: “What is it?” Me: “It’s a surprise!” Him: “…” (literally the ellipsis). Me (confused): “Do you want me to tell you what it is?” Him: “No?” Me: “Well, I didn’t know what “…” means.” Him: “Oh, I meant it in a silly way.” To me, an ellipsis means you’re mad/exasperated. To him it means “Hmmmmmmmmm” or something. I don’t know. Obviously this is a little different from saying “I love lamp” in response to “I love you”… *eyeroll* OH BUNNY.

    • To me, an ellipsis is like an “Um. LOLwut?” or an indication that they are speechless. I don’t understand how someone uses them in “a silly way.”

      And, okay, ONCE AGAIN I am underslept and it’s bringing out my anxious, paranoid side, and probably I’m feeling extra vulnerable and antsy from putting my feelings out there, but I am really pretty sick of The Bunny’s constant sarcasm and deflection.

      Also his general inarticulateness. He frequently says stuff where he’s not actually trying to kid around or mess with me but I just have no idea WTF he’s talking about. We have tentative plans for Friday but when I went to firm them up (via text, as usual), he said I couldn’t come over as early as I’d suggested because he has a photoshoot in the afternoon. I said “Of what/whom?” and he texted back “Of my beard. With an amigo. I’ve not had them this long. Must make for some dashing imagery.”


  3. Pingback: Interesting night. | hiding in plain sight

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