Humph. :(

I’ve decided not to buy a bus pass for April – I’m not working enough to justify spending the money.  Sadly, that means that every damn time I wanna go anywhere, I’ll be stressing about the “extra” cost of paying for public transit (rather than smugly thinking that I’m getting even more of my money’s worth out of my pass).

Today is the last day of March (a.k.a. my last day of freedom…) and I’m in the horndog week of my cycle.  I just texted The Bunny asking if he’d like me to come over and sex him tonight.  He replied that he has plans to get groceries and then make pie.

I was about to point out that it’s fully possible to prepare and bake a pie while one has a houseguest – and that one could fuck said houseguest while the pie is in the oven – but then realized (duh) if he really wanted to fuck me he would’ve already thought of that. Or else just moved his pie plans to another night.  I done been rejected.  Period.

It would be easier to deal with things like this if I didn’t constantly see guys (and sometimes even chicks) on FetLife trumpeting the idea that women have this enormous amount of power in dating and relationships – that men are so desperate for poon that all we have to do is snap our fingers and they’ll come running.

Not getting laid kinda sucks, but whatever; I’ll get off to The Bunny’s recent voicemail a few times and feel better.  Not getting laid while people constantly tell me that I ACTUALLY AM getting laid, constantly, whenever I want, and I should feel thankful, however is increasingly difficult and self-esteem battering.  The messages that Women Have Power Because Pussy and Men Will Fuck Any Vagina at Any Time are so prevalent that I sometimes feel like I’m going mad.  Do other people live on a different planet than I do, or could that many people really be that oblivious to the way human beings actually interact with each other?  If men really will fuck literally anything with a vagina, why won’t The Bunny fuck me, right now, when I’ve made it clear that I want him to?  Why are men so eager to promote a stereotype about their libidos that’s blatantly untrue* and basically invests a huge chunk of their identity in their ability to get an erection?  When I point out that sometimes I get rejected (for dates, for sex, whatever), do they think I’m lying about that, or dismiss me as the one exception to the rule, or is this a No True Scotsman thing and being rejected means by definition that I’m not really a woman, or…?

Feh.

 

*Unless men really do reject me because I’m so undesirable as to seem subhuman, in which case I guess never mind.

2 Comments

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2 responses to “Humph. :(

  1. Patient Griselda UP TO A POINT

    I am a woman who has been rejected by men many times. I’ve also been accepted quite a bit, and have had men make passes at me, so even though I’m not to everyone’s tastes I’m pretty confident I’m not a complete gargoyle.

    But I was in a short term relationship with a dom a few years ago who told me his theory of what dominance was all about. He said that in heterosexual relationships women have all the power, because they can say yes or no, and that dominance (by which he meant dominant man submissive woman) was a way of letting the man feel a bit of the power that women have all of. I pointed out that it’s not remotely true that women have all the power, even all the power to say no, and he said I was being ‘politically correct’. I said this is my own personal repeated experience, and he insisted that men don’t turn women down and I was just saying that from a political agenda that wanted to force a sameness on the sexes that doesn’t exist. I said no really, I had been turned down my own self, by multiple men, and men probably turn women down less often than women turn men down, but it clearly and undeniably happens because I have seen it happen, that it is a normal thing in my life and the lives of female friends. And he told me I was just wrong and was blinded by politics.

    “Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?”

    It’s definitely not just you being told this nonsense. I didn’t realise it was that prevalent on fetlife.

    • Ugh. How the fuck does this guy think you weren’t really rejected? Does he think you have aural hallucinations or something?

      And yeah, that basic attitude is all the fuck over FetLife.

      This is my theory: I think a lot of guys don’t see women they find unattractive. Like literally just don’t even register that they exist. So often if a woman a guy isn’t attracted to hits on him, he’ll just say no (or ignore her entirely) without even thinking about it. It’s not even a big part of his day – like swatting at a fly that’s bugging you. If you ask if he’s ever rejected a woman, though, he’ll think of hot women since those are the only ones he sees, and he’ll say “Of course not!”

      Oh, and that guy’s explanation of dominance doesn’t even make logical sense. If a man wanted the “power to say no” that women have and men allegedly don’t, then you’d think most dominants would make a point of not fucking their subs. “Ha ha, bitch, I have the power to say no now!” …Instead, what I usually see is dominant dudes wanting subs they can fuck at any time, whether the sub is in the mood or not. That’s not a guy “wanting the power that women have.” That’s a guy who’s mad he can’t put his dick in someone any time he wants, so he looks for someone willing to give up whatever arguable “power” she has.

      Well, at least you tried to tell the guy he was being an idiot. I comment you for that!

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