The Bunny doesn’t text me as often as he used to. I think maybe we’re seeing each other less often, too. And honestly, I’m okay with that. I don’t need more texting frequency per se, and I’m kind of happy to be past the point where I feel the need to see him frequently *no matter what* just to kind of cement the relationship. I mean there have been some weeks when I was working an insane schedule and fit him in anyway, not because I was dying to see him but just to kind of keep my foot in the door. I think we’re both getting comfortable; he doesn’t feel a need to text me constantly and I don’t feel a need to see him all the time.
And yet, my asshole brain keeps suggesting to me that maybe The Bunny is sloooowly pulling a fade. That he must like me less than before. That maybe he’s distant because some other woman has started taking up his time, and she will eventually eclipse me.
I have to keep reminding myself of all the evidence to the contrary. The Bunny still treats me like a queen when we’re together and evidently talks about me a lot to at least one of his friends – who’s really curious to meet me, so the three of us are going dancing sometime soon. When I mentioned that I want the Star Trek Amok Time battle theme as my phone ringtone and was trying to figure out if that was possible, he said don’t worry, he’ll make it happen. He’s initiated a couple of get-together plans lately. He texted me the other morning bursting with excitement because he’d just found out a local sex club has started allowing people over 35 in on a day that used to be only 35 and under (The Bunny is 28; he can get in whenever. His glee was because the two of us could go). And he keeps a running commentary on who else he’s interested in and whether it’s going anywhere (right now there’s not much of anything), and I’m always supportive. Hell, I recently showed him a FetLife personal ad I thought he should respond to! He has no reason to hide anyone else from me, and I have no reason to believe he would.
My first thought is that I’d feel more at ease if only The Bunny were the type to say mushy things; surely my insecurity would evaporate if he told me frequently (or ever) that he loved me – or even liked me – or found me attractive – or something. Then I remember that I used to say the same thing about us having a relationship status listed on FetLife, and that didn’t end up helping. I think my brain is just a paranoid asshole.
Ah well. This, too, shall pass.