Orgasm denial aftermath

Texted with The Bunny a bit about the whole orgasm control mishap.  He agreed that he feels too “fiercely independent” to do anything so 24/7, and said he feels he’s more of a bottom than a sub per se.  I asked if maybe he only likes giving up control when he’s horny (because during sexytimes I do totally call the shots and he responds wonderfully) and he said that seemed feasible.

He seemed like he was…I dunno…feeling a need to justify himself, or something?  So I assured him that it’s perfectly fine that he’s not into orgasm control – I’m not angry about that.  I am a bit angry that he agreed to do a thing but then didn’t do it; he gave me expectations of him but then let me down.  But I added that I get that he probably meant to do what I asked and just didn’t realize the dynamic wouldn’t sit right with him.  I said this was a learning experience, and that my annoyance will fade.

The Bunny said that he definitely didn’t like being told when to jerk off, but that the flip side of orgasm control – just not being allowed to come at all – was still kind of appealing to him.  He likes the idea of being milked, too.  So it seems like there’s still possibly some fun stuff to explore here.

But not right now.  This has all been too fucking exhausting.  I’m gonna stick with the stuff I know works for a little while before venturing outside the lines again.

 

4 Comments

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4 responses to “Orgasm denial aftermath

  1. Exhausting indeed. Do they not understand that telling us how they feel and what they think is a way of supporting dominance? If I know what my partner likes, great. I can control activities. If I know what those activities do to his mind and emotions, I can get right in there and connect with him. That’s a thousand times hotter, when you’re both on the same mental wavelength and not just simultaneously participating in the same set of stimuli.

    It’s frustrating as hell to have a sub be all over some fantasy, so you start doing it and it feels like it’s not working but they won’t admit it…do they think that the fantasy’s good so if they stick it out long enough reality will catch up? Is it a fear of disappointing the dom? Gah! Words are useful! *kick stamp pout*

    • I am going to print that entire comment on a really huge t-shirt and wear it everywhere forever.

      • Ha! Bit much for one shirt. You know the most people don’t have the attention span for that much text at the best of times. Now throw in (a) trying to covertly look at boobs while reading or (b) worried that reading makes it look like they’re trying to covertly look at boobs. Better to just go with ‘Words are useful!” in a really loud font.

  2. Pingback: Awwww goddammit. | hiding in plain sight

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