Rope bondage, jealousy, and wanking

The Bunny and I went to another open rope bondage practice thingy.  I’ve noticed that he may not always be physically affectionate in the typical ways, but does seem drawn to touch me – on the bus on the way over to this thing he started playfully poking me in the leg with his finger and stuff.  It’s like he’s physically attracted enough to want to make contact, but doesn’t know what’s acceptable to me in public and/or doesn’t want to be overtly mushy in public himself.

A friend of The Bunny’s was at the event, and he got her to demonstrate a chest tie on him.  Actually, at first he was going to demonstrate it on her, which caused an odd little twinge of jealousy for me.  At first I thought it was because The Bunny is a switch and watching him top someone else would be a reminder that other women do fulfilling things for him that I can’t/won’t.  Upon reflection, though, that’s not it.  It’s actually that The Bunny is a wonderfully calm and competent person, and good with rope (from what I can tell as a noob); watching him top someone would make me jealous of him because he’s a more technically skilled top than I am.

Anyway.  His friend suggested they switch places so she could tie him, instead; she pointed out that everyone’s body mechanics are different, and so if I’m wanting to learn to tie up The Bunny I’d best do it by watching The Bunny get tied.  She then demonstrated a chest tie, but it was complicated and my social anxiety was making it hard to concentrate so I really didn’t end up learning fuck all.  After that, the friend went back to her little posse of people who were tying each other up, and The Bunny had me undo his ropes and tie him up in a new configuration.  While he was trussed up, I kissed, bit, slapped, and groped him as much as I dared (this was a play party sort of setting so probably I could’ve gone further without anyone caring.  I’m not used to playing in public, though.  There were people around us literally within arm’s reach).

Oh, I forgot to mention that this friend of The Bunny’s was sorta flirting with him during her little rope demonstration – playfully threatening to hit him and stuff.  That did bug me – it’s one thing for The Bunny to top or dominate another woman; I don’t want to bottom or sub anyway, so more power to her.  If someone is doing toppy things to him (or anything else that overlaps significantly with what I can offer him) that’s mildly threatening to me.  I think I can get over those threatened feelings in time, but yeah…kind of a weird night for me.

Later, when my play with The Bunny seemed to come to a natural stopping point and I’d untied him, his friend was getting tied up by her people and she lay back on the floor so they could suspend her legs from the ceiling.  Her head ended up resting on The Bunny’s foot, and he not only kept it there, but also gave her arm a friendly little rub/pat.  Again – twinges of weirdness.  This, too, shall pass.

want to do “relationship anarchy” – poly with no rules – but I may have to instigate one rule, at least for the time being: if I’m out somewhere with a partner, they’re officially “with” me for that time.  Which means if someone else hits on him, they can talk briefly and exchange numbers but not flirt extensively, play, or otherwise ignore me.  I am in no way ready to watch The Bunny make out with someone while we’re on a date.  Not that this even came close to happening ever.  But he’s taking me to a sex club next week so it’s possible some unusual opportunities will arise.

Really, though, a “when you’re out with me you’re with me” rule isn’t all that controlling.  It’s kind of just common courtesy.  If I were at a party with a friend and she ran off to talk to other people and ignored me I’d be pissed, too.  Plus, I’m open to watching The Bunny play with others someday.  Just not yet.  Baby steps.

Incidentally, when i got home we had this conversation via text:

Bunny: So yeah, I have to be in my bunk tonight.  [The Bunny was referencing “I’ll be in my bunk” as a euphemism for masturbation.  Or at least I was pretty sure he was.  I decided to make him state his needs more directly.]

Me: Well, that is where people sleep…

Bunny: Emergency bunk relief.

Me: Don’t TELL me you’re doing this – ASK me for permission.

Bunny: May I use my ‘bunk’?

Me [looking for confirmation that I had something to do with this urgency]: Getting tied up got you going, did it?

Bunny: My boxers were damp [a thing he’d pointed out when I was untying him].  You know how I get.

Me: Rawwwwwr.  Have at it. 😀

Honestly, I’d completely forgotten that I’d asked him never to jerk off without my permission.  Although he allegedly used to masturbate at least twice a day, he adjusted to my whole orgasm control thing with seemingly very little effort.  There’s no tension there – no sense that he’s painfully holding himself in check for me.  And he’s said he’s not into being teased about his abstinence (mmmmaybe that was reverse psychology to try to goad me into teasing him?) so that’s pretty much off the menu.  If The Bunny seemed like he was suffering a little bit, that would be hot.  But he doesn’t.  I’m not getting out of this what I’d hoped to, and also I wonder how bad it is for his prostate for him to be backed up for like a week at a time.  I don’t want to abandon the idea of orgasm control entirely; I like how fast he comes now when I visit him.  But I think I need to do something differently.  Make him wank into my voicemail every now and then at specific times, maybe.  Or make him edge himself, although the last time I requested this he slipped up and came by accident so I’m cautious now.  I’m open to suggestions from my lovely commenters for how to restore the hotness to this arrangement.

Oh, btw, I texted a little more with The Bunny after (during?) his wank, asking what exactly got him going the most tonight.  He was like “Being tied up gets me wet*.  Hadn’t you noticed?”  I said yes, of course I noticed he was turned on, but when I’ve got him tied up I’m usually also doing other interesting things to him so I just wanted to parse out what was causing the most arousal.  And I asked if it was rope bondage in particular or being immobilized in general that has this effect on him, and he said he thinks it’s specifically rope.  Innnnteresting.  Note to self: stop being lazy and start incorporating more rope bondage into scenes with Bunny.

 

*The Bunny is one of those guys who steadily oozes when he’s turned on.  Like, to the point of his boxers having a noticeable wet spot or his stomach having a puddle on it.  It’s so fucking hot I could die.

2 Comments

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2 responses to “Rope bondage, jealousy, and wanking

  1. Andy

    “*The Bunny is one of those guys who steadily oozes when he’s turned on. Like, to the point of his boxers having a noticeable wet spot or his stomach having a puddle on it. It’s so fucking hot I could die.”

    😀 This has basically become a trope in some fanfiction and erotica and I never knew if it could actually happen, but it’s so hot I basically couldn’t care and kept reading/writing it. So I’m glad to hear it’s actually a thing.

    • Oh yes. The Ingenue was a “drooler” too. I love it. 😀

      I was talking to an artist friend once who told me that the art modelling world attracts a lot of exhibitionists (which didn’t occur to me – durrrr I am slow).

      He said there was this one dude-model in life drawing class who never actually got an erection while posing, but he’d get this string of fluid dangling from the tip of his dick. Stretching further and further toward the ground as time went on. 😀

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