Ugh.

Apparently I’ve become attached enough to The Bunny to fear his disappearance.

I was mostly okay up until recently.  I guess I figured he was cute and fun but if he did a fade I’d be fine.  Either that or he was never out of touch long enough for me to feel insecure.

Lately, I no longer wake up to find a text message waiting for me from him.  This makes me antsy; it makes me wonder whether he’s talking to someone else who’s taking up his time.  I think what it is, though, is that he’s figured out I usually sleep til noon and doesn’t want to contact me unless he figures I’ll contact him back soon.

This theory seems to be borne out: this morning I woke up uncharacteristically early and made a few posts in the FetLife discussion groups, and The Bunny (who seems to check FetLife constantly and track everything I do there) began his daily volley of texts soon after.

Part of the problem (as with The Pedant) is that I don’t know whether we’re dating or FWB or what.  I’m fine with either designation, but I think dudes bail out of FWB situations more easily than dating-type arrangements.  And The Bunny – although his profile says he’s “not sure about monogamy right now but you never know” – does not consider himself poly per se, which translates, to me, to a more tenuous situation.  Like if he meets someone he likes a lot and she pressures him for exclusivity he’s more likely to cave.

Meh.  I have a craft fair to get ready for.  Must stop angsting.  Everything’s probably fine.

6 Comments

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6 responses to “Ugh.

  1. trillian

    From what you wrote, I am pretty sure he very much adores you but wants to keep it slow and civil and polite and all that. (My guess is he thinks you are a “lady” and not in that wrong gender-way! He respects you.) I got a hunch he’s got a very romantic side, don’t know why. It all would make sense that way.

    I had to laugh about the idea him blogging somewhere out there, “oh I hope I am not getting on her nerves: I may need to be more distant?” 😀

  2. trillian

    And btw. Getting attached is not a bad thing at all.
    : )

    • Getting attached isn’t bad per se. But I hate the paranoia part. In the beginning of seeing someone, I don’t really know them yet so if they vanished it wouldn’t be too huge a deal. A couple of months in, if I’m still seeing them and still like them and everything, I start to feel secure that they wouldn’t just disappear on me without warning.

      In between those times, when I start to really like a person but things don’t feel stable yet? It’s HELL.

  3. jooyous

    I feel like maybe since YOU’RE poly, you can just use that to handle the situation the Poly Way and declare something like “Bunneh! I am getting attached to you and wanted to let you know. Therefore, plz give me a heads-up if you are planning to ditch me or are interested in other people so that we can talk about it. This has been a standard poly protocol message triggered by feelings being involved. Thank you!”

    • Ooooh…I could tell him ANYTHING and claim it’s standard poly procedure. He won’t know any better! MUAH-HAHAHAHA!

      • jooyous

        Yeah, exactly! So you can reveal potentially mushy feelings as if they’re just protocol that all poly people follow and therefore not scary and stuff.

        Also, don’t use my comments for evil. ^_^

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