Me: I do not understand why I want to punch someone pretty whom I like [i.e., him] but I kinda do.
Bunny: So now you wanna punching bag me?
Me: [downplaying my urges slightly; not wanting to scare him] I would incorporate the odd punch into our repertoire if you were amenable to it.
Bunny: If that’s the case, then I suggest you get working on your knot tying to semi suspend me so that I can swing when you do punch.
This response literally left me breathless and even made my eyes well up a little bit. I’ve been repressing most of my sadistic urges for so long…nobody ever wanted to go as far as I did, so I just got used to keeping myself in check all the time. I never even let myself wank to those types of fantasies anymore because I don’t want to get emotionally invested in something I probably can’t have.
I don’t know how many times I thought I’d “conquered” or outgrown my more extreme sadistic thoughts, only to read about a particularly brutal-sounding (but consensual!) scene and find myself grinning hugely and feeling…not aroused in a crotch-oriented way…I think the word I’m looking for might be electrified. Giddy and twinkly-brained.
Anyway. My point is that I ventured to tell The Bunny about one of my more hardcore interests and not only did he take it calmly, he told me to up my game so we can do something even more extreme. And we’ve already established that he’s not a person who sacrifices his own well-being for someone else, so if he’s agreeing to be punched it’s because he’s actually curious about it.