Last week, The Bunny and I were texting and he mentioned that he’d bought some mason jars. This ensued:
Me: Mason jars? Will you be canning fruit for the winter?
Bunny: Nope. Stretching vaginas. [NB: The Bunny is a switch.]
Me: Owwwww. (Wouldn’t something inflatable work better?) [I’m not actually believing him, you understand. Just playing along.]
Bunny: But I can fill the jars with stuff. Come now, be practical about these things. Also incentive not to break my jars or get pointy glass where you don’t want it.
Me: Fill the jar with speculums. That would be SO META. Or jellybeans and then use the chick as a snack dish while you surf the internet and otherwise ignore her.
Bunny: Such a mean woman you are. Although I did get mason jars, they will not be assaulting vaginal openings.
Me: I kinda figured. 😛
Bunny: And if I was being serious after all?
Me: You seem like a person who cares about safety precautions, plus you’d be having your mason jar adventure with someone else, so what do I care?
Bunny: I would think my level of cruelty would have been scary.
Me: I was assuming you’d work up to the jar, not fire it out of a cannon straight into her hitherto-neglected bajingo.
Bunny: That would be being nice… [Why does he appear to be trying to scare me? Guys have done this sort of thing before and I do not understand what they’re fishing for.]
Me: I also assumed you’d be playing with a partner who was into crazy insertion play and pretty psyched about it, ergo it wouldn’t be cruelty. Am I wrong? Would you actually jar-rape someone? [His bluff: I am calling it.]
Bunny: I’m very restrained with my malicious tendencies.
Me: And I’m a good judge of character. So there you go.
I’m annoyed at the apparent manipulation here, and I don’t get the point of it. Was he testing me to see if I’d jump to conclusions about him? Trying to scare me because my fear would titillate him? Testing me for jealousy or prudishness? I just don’t know. And honestly, ten years ago a “joke” like this would’ve been deeply offputting to me and possibly even scared me off. Now, though, I trust my gut a lot more, and my gut tells me he’s an ethical person who respects limits and asks for consent; even if he has a huge sadistic streak (which I don’t actually know) he won’t be trying to use it on me. Why, though, was he briefly trying to act all scary and shit?
Last night, I asked The Bunny (again via text) whether he would ever do something he didn’t enjoy, strictly for his partner’s benefit. This led to a tangent in which he said he hates the word “compromise” and refuses to use it. He said the word grates on him because it implies that the person doing the compromising has been forced into it/lost the fight/whatever (see also the usage “the ship’s hull had been compromised” or “the integrity of the boat is compromised.”). The Bunny, therefore, will not compromise with someone; rather, he will come to a consensus with them.
A quote from that conversation: “…Because you can’t say ‘I’m going to compromise your vagina’ in any way that’s positive. But you can say ‘let’s come to a consensus with our crotches.”
Generally – aside from the mason jar conversation, which was just odd – I am finding him increasingly smart and adorable. I hope things with him keep on progressing and being awesome. 😀