I Am Pornkiller

The Bunny and I watched some more BDSM porn last night, too.  These must be clips he likes and has watched numerous times; they were on his actual computer, not the internet, and he seemed to have memorized what-all happens in them and in what order.  I’m a little worried that my reactions to his porn will ruin it for him or offend him or something, but since this is the second time he’s shown me stuff (and the second time I openly critiqued it), I guess he’s probably fine with it.

Some potentially buzzkilling things I blurted out while we watched:

[When a domme kept screaming at her sub to speak clearly, but he was wearing a gag]: “See, I get that this is meant as ‘predicament bondage’ or whatever, but to me she just comes off as a terrible domme – she’s yelling at him for something he can’t help whatsoever.  Now, if he was ungagged and she was demanding that he speak clearly and coherently while she was repeatedly hitting him, that would be interesting and hot, to me.  Because it’s a challenge he has a chance of winning.”  

[When this same domme gave herself a squirting orgasm]: “Gah!  There’s…so much of it.  So…much.  I’m gonna say that that orgasm was probably actually real.  Although I suppose a person could purposely release some pee to make it look like they were squirting…”

[When the domme started yelling at her gagged sub again for “mumbling”]: “Take the gag out, dumbass!”

[When the domme was using urethral sounds on the sub, and was all “I’m gonna fuck your pee-hole.  I’m gonna stretch that little pee-hole out so much.  Do you like it when I fuck your pee-hole?”] “…The phrase ‘pee-hole’ has now lost all meaning.”  This made The Bunny burst out laughing, and both of us started having giggle fits every successive time the woman said “pee-hole.”  Just sitting there, snuggling and laughing and watching this thing.  It was kind of a sweet moment.  Man, my “romantic” stories are getting more and more baroque…

Anyway, yeah.  I can’t seem to watch porn without MST:3K-ing it.

But, for every time I blurted out something snarky, there was also a time when something caught my fancy and I burst out with “Oh, such a good boy he is!” or just laughed in genuine, delighted glee at whatever evil thing the domme was doing.  So, y’know…things balance out.  Maybe.

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One response to “I Am Pornkiller

  1. Vy

    I wouldn’t worry too much about being a porn buzzkill — Socially, I don’t think it’s very fun to watch porn with people *unless* you’re going to MST3K it, and that’s held true for me even with porn I really like. And I think this especially holds true for BDSM oriented stuff, because the people who take that stuff too seriously tend to be abusive, you know? Like, someone who can’t take a gentle “don’t we all look funny, doing our big scary sex stuff” type ribbing raises a lot of red flags for me (ymmv, of course).

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