BDSM porn thoughts

I’m not a big watcher of porn these days, and especially don’t go looking for BDSM porn because I vaguely remember most of it being awful and unarousing to me.  But when I was at The Bunny’s place and asked him to stroke my legs/feet/back for a while, he put on “a little something for [my] viewing pleasure” while he did it.  I’m not sure whether he was hoping to turn me on enough to have sex with him, or to show me that there’s decent BDSM porn out there, or what.  Maybe both.  At any rate he didn’t seem to mind when I got all analytical about what I liked and didn’t like.

First, we watched a couple of scenes from Divine Bitches.  

I was surprised to see that they used men I found attractive, and displayed their bodies for the camera a bit – not every shot was focused solely on the women.  The women in the scenes were attractive to me, too, which is not necessary to me, but nice.  And they seemed to be enjoying what they were doing at least a little bit, and their dialogue seemed pretty natural, not wooden and awful.  

One scene depicted a man tied to a bunch of steel bars mounted on a wall.  He had a device rigged to shock his genitals if it sensed any sound/vibration – including his screams.  The woman in the scene wore a really uncomfortable-looking latex outfit and heels.  She did painful things to the guy so he’d scream and get his dick shocked, and taunted him while she did this.  I enjoyed that “predicament bondage” aspect of things.  Sometimes she’d accidentally-on-purpose drop something on the floor or kick the bars to shock the guy some more, and her gleefully nonchalant attitude was pretty awesome.  She kept asking the guy to say stuff – to thank her for hurting him, and whatnot – and getting angry when he didn’t speak clearly enough, but the guy was gagged.  Perhaps that was supposed to be another kind of hot predicament, but to me it just looked like the chick was being unreasonable.  If you want to hear him say stuff then take that contraption out of his mouth, dumbass!

Eventually, she made some speech about how the guy wasn’t pleasing her and he would have to up his game, and she climbed up the bars in her high heels to straddle his face for cunnilingus in the most awkward position ever.  How anyone could get off while hanging off metal bars in a half-squat, I do not know.  And indeed, although she made some tentative moans, it never did sound as though she came.

Cut to the same woman in a different room but the same stupid outfit telling the same guy – now untied and unhooked from the electric shock device – to worship her ass.  With another speech about how he exists to please her so he’d better do a good job.  A bunch of boring ass-licking ensues, with more close-ups than I ever would have wanted.  At one point she gives him the instruction to lick straight from her taint to the top of her crack; apparently he starts too low, so she slaps his face and tells him to fucking listen to her instructions and follow them exactly, or else.  That was sort of hot.  

The woman ends up giving herself an orgasm via vibrator while the guy keeps licking her ass.  Can’t have been a very *good* orgasm, I reckon, because she stands perfectly steadily on her high heels through the whole thing and the moment the last moan dies down it’s business as usual – she’s not wobbly or disoriented or out of breath or anything.  (coughFAKEORGASMcough) Then she gets behind the guy and gives him a reacharound, monologuing about how his come belongs to her and he’d better give it to her immediately.  This just comes off as strange to me; up til now, she’s made it clear that she doesn’t especially like this guy or think he’s valuable in any way, so why does she want to give him an orgasm, and why is she so fixated on getting his come?  I just don’t see what possible use she could have for a handful of DNA goo at this juncture.  Also, btw, the dude was flaccid during the entire scene up to this point and only managed to get it up once she’d been flogging away at him for a bit.  It’s not fun for me to watch BDSM scenes if the guy in the scene doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself, and while I recognize that an erection isn’t the only possible sign of enjoyment, dude wasn’t giving any other indications, either.

Things get interesting again when he finally comes and she keeps stimulating him, hard and fast.  He’s all sensitive from his orgasm, so this is so intense that it kind of hurts, and he’s cringing away, begging her to stop (he’s not gagged in this scene).  She persists until he has literally fallen to his knees (RAWR).  Then she finally stops, stands up, and goes “Well, I guess you did okay,” and walks away.  At which point I say to The Bunny, “I can see how a woman acting indifferent to a guy might be a turn on for subs watching this porn, but as someone who’s identifying with the woman, I feel like…okay, so she played with this guy and he didn’t really make her happy…how is that hot or fulfilling?  What’s supposed to be in this for me, y’know?”  He seemed to understand where I was coming from.

The other Divine Bitches scene had a guy trussed up while a woman teased him and stuff.  She was, of course, also wearing an uncomfortable-looking fetishy outfit.  She nicknamed him “Pretty,” which I liked a lot.  She also sucked his dick a whole bunch, which is kind of cool in a way.  I’m happy to see the stereotype that Giving Fellatio is Inherently Submissive shattered; it’s perfectly valid for a dominant woman to happen to enjoy sucking cock.  

Once again, we have a guy who’s gagged and a woman who’s repeatedly asking him to say stuff.  This chick didn’t berate him for mumbling, so that’s…something.  But I still wish he wasn’t gagged because I wanted to hear what he was saying properly!  Begging and moaning are fucking hot.  Mind you, I’m not sure the guy would have been able to beg or moan convincingly.  Like the guy in the other clip, this dude wasn’t erect and didn’t seem to be enjoying himself.

So after sucking and biting his cock a bunch, she goes into this whole huge thing of asking if he wants to see her big, natural tits and apparently not believing him when he says yes.  This goes on for a while, and is boring as fuck.  Eventually the guy somehow manages to “earn” the privilege of seeing her tits (by…sitting there going “Yes, please, mistress!” through his ball gag when she repeatedly asks him to ask to see them) and she takes off her bra.  Then the chick gives this big speech about how he’s there for her to use and abuse and so now she’s going to climb on and fuck him until she gets off (pumping him rapid-fire with her hand while she talks, because dude has remained totally flaccid all this time).  She’s gonna use him as a toy for her pleasure, and his pleasure is irrelevant.  So that’s cool.  Then she rides his dick for like fifteen seconds but dismounts before she’s had any orgasms.  Hello?  Plot continuity?  Where are you?

I think then she climbs up and sits on the dude’s face – again, squatting in the most awkward and uncomfortable way you can imagine, although I think she’d at least taken her heels off by then – and eventually moans for a while, but not in a particularly climactic way, so I’m not really sure if we’re supposed to think she came or what.  Certainly she isn’t shaky-legged or particularly blissed-out afterward.

Then she fucks his ass with first her hand, then a dildo, and although he’s making lots of sounds through the gag it’s difficult for me to believe they’re coming from a pleasurable place since his dick is once again totally limp and he’s kinda screaming more than moaning.  Mostly at this point I just feel bad for his poor asshole.  Then the chick jerks him off and makes him lick his own come off her hand.  That, I liked.

Both of the Divine Bitches clips revolved around the respective subs entirely too much for my taste.  I’m a dominant woman; obviously I’m going to tend to identify with the dominant women in these porn clips, and they’re not giving me much to enjoy.  They’re wearing uncomfortable-looking outfits, they’re doing all the “work” in the encounter (climbing all over the place providing sensations for guys who are just lying back and receiving), and in the end they’re not even happy.  I mean could the face-sitting sessions at least end with the women orgasming until their legs are shaking and they can’t stop giggling?  I don’t want to see a woman striding haughtily away from a dude at the end of a scene going “Pfft, that was okay, I guess.” I can’t get off vicariously through these actresses unless they’re, y’now…actually getting off.  Or at least faking it really well.

I think part of the problem is that (ironically) the makers of the porn can’t conceive of a woman actually being a sadist – of a woman who wants to hurt a guy purely for fun.  They assume that a woman needs some big motivation to hurt a dude, like being angry at him or thinking he’s inferior to her.  And so they make sure the women in the clips are never really happy or fulfilled; they show women doing stuff to men they don’t actually like.  And yet apparently it makes perfect, logical sense that these women would jerk off these disappointing and inferior men, and wear stupid get-ups that cater to them.  *Headdesk.*

Anyway.  The next clip The Bunny showed me was footage taken at an (allegedly?) actual play party.  The cameraman mostly filmed submissive women getting their masters off, focusing entirely on the women.  I literally have no idea what the masters’ faces even looked like; each guy was just a dick at the periphery of the screen.  People’s interactions looked pretty interesting and I wish I’d gotten to see them in a less one-sided way.

Finally, The Bunny showed me footage of some Japanese chick tying a dude up.  In most of the clips, that’s all she did, which I found kind of boring and pointless (I’m realizing that The Bunny kind of has a fetish for rope bondage; it’s not just means to an end, with him).  Also, she was speaking Japanese so I didn’t get to understand what she was saying to the guy.  And of course she was wearing lingerie and heels, because it would be unthinkable to depict a dominant woman in comfortable clothes, apparently.  But she had a gleeful demeanour that I liked a lot, and – most importantly – the guy she was tying up invariably looked terrified and yet had an erection the entire time.  I didn’t even find him particularly attractive, but his mix of fear and arousal totally hit my buttons.  I think that bunch of clips aroused me the most, pretty much solely because the guy actually seemed to be enjoying himself.

Goddamn, it’s late and I need to get to bed.  But yeah…that was my BDSM porn experience and my thoughts thereon.  Ta-daaaaaa.

4 Comments

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4 responses to “BDSM porn thoughts

  1. writingthebody

    I suspect you do things that are way more fun than this. I think the trouble with those sort of “scene” or theatre porn clips is that they are so over imagined in advance that there is always something that does not work…in life, we tend to sketch the idea, and then the dominant one takes it away. I loved your analysis….the clips are getting less ridiculous I guess, but there is something forced or odd about them. Like in transgendered porn where a female with penis is penetrating the guy, she has to hold her arm out of the way so the camera can watch the penis entering But what is sexy about being penetrated (well I think) is the firm grip that she has on my shoulders or haunches or wherever as she rams it into me….if that makes sense. But we do not see that….and I guess cannot see it because her arms would be in the way of the camera….so I do see why they do it, but then it does not work for me…..she looks as if she is going through the motions…anyway, loved this. Sorry for raving on so long….

  2. Andy

    I have trouble watching straight [video] porn. I’ve never even dipped a toe into the world of straight femdom [video] porn. My best friend did just get me hooked on the videos on http://mr-s-leather.com but they’re all gay. Some of them are too over-the-top sadistic for me, but all my favorites include things like tops hugging and praising their bottoms or bottoms who are actually almost giddy and laughing.

  3. I love this porn analysis. 😀 It sounds a lot like the responses I have to BDSM porn, and I love how you pick apart what works for you and what doesn’t. I often feel a mix of “ooh, that was a hot idea” and “euch, no, WHAT is she wearing” and “they all look so bored!” And WHAT is it with the crouching awkwardly for “orgasms”?

    But I have to say that the idea of a shock to a guy’s cock and balls that picked up his screams and shocked him more is fiendishly delicious. 😀 *files that one away*

  4. Pingback: Progress | hiding in plain sight

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