Another epiphany that was probably obvious to everyone but me.

A lot of guys on FetLife have stolen porn screenshots on their profiles instead of pictures of themselves.  If a guy is submissive, obviously these shots are going to lean toward women doing “dominant” things to men or men doing “submissive” things to women.  

I’ve noticed that pretty much every photo I’ve ever seen on a sub’s profile of a guy going down on a woman depicts the woman looking totally bored.  I’m guessing her bored expression is what makes it a D/s photo rather than just a picture of two people enjoying each other.

And the epiphany I had is this: when a sub seems obsessed with providing “oral service” for a dominant woman, it’s probably not because he wants to give her pleasure (otherwise he’d choose photos that show women looking happy while they get eaten instead of staring listlessly at the camera).  It’s for the same reason so many subs want to lick a woman’s boots – because he sees the act as degrading to him.  He doesn’t truly want to be of service to a woman; he wants to feel submissive by putting his face in her awful, dirty no-no place while she mocks him for doing so.

How totally fucking depressing.

I realized a long time ago that most “submissive” men are actually just wanting a woman to enact their degradation fantasies.  I did not realize that cunnilingus-obsessed subs were of this group.

6 Comments

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6 responses to “Another epiphany that was probably obvious to everyone but me.

  1. Responsible opposing viewpoint here: I think that many men want to feel objectified, or used like some kind of tool. Objectification isn’t inherently degrading to the person who wants that; few people *really* want to think that they can be easily replaced. The kink behind the idea of providing oral service to a bored Domme is that he’s imagining that she is thinking “Well, it was either him or the vibrator, and I just didn’t feel like going upstairs to get it.”

    • Mmmmaybe? But the fact remains that when something feels good – when someone is having an orgasm – they’ll tend to get an actual expression on their face. They don’t sit there looking like they’re mildly annoyed and would rather be doing something else.

      Getting off via vibrator may be a fairly quick and utilitarian process (for me, anyway) but it’s still getting off.

  2. Irene

    I think a lot of people don’t really get the difference between submission and humiliation, even though they’re totally orthogonal kinks.

    • symph

      to add to this, i feel like a lot of people, esp. male submissives, see submission as inherently humiliating which

      is kind of insulting as fuck, to themselves and other subs.

      • And to dominant women, too. I always wonder if a guy who says “it’s humiliating to serve a woman” is silently adding “…Because women are supposed to be the inferior ones so I’m going against nature.”

        Even if it’s not a misogyny thing, what’s so terrible about wanting to do nice things for someone else?

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