I first wrote out my angst to The Pedant on Tuesday.  It is now Saturday (and I’ve written two conciliatory follow-ups) and I’ve heard nothing from him.  At all.

So it’s looking like his non-answer is my answer.

I’ll probably wait another few days and send him one last email.  It will say “When we first started seeing each other, you made me promise that if I ever bailed on  you, I’d tell you why so you wouldn’t have to wonder.  It’s pretty shitty of you not to extend me the same courtesy.”  Or something like that.

I honestly didn’t think he was the kind of person who would just vanish.  That hurts more than anything; I trusted that he was the kind of person who talks things out, and it seems that trust was misplaced.

Oddly, The Social Worker (who works in the same office building) says he chatted with The Pedant recently and The Pedant made some huge point of mentioning his long hours and commute – which TSW and I both suspect was meant to get back to me.  So possibly The Pedant is trying to apologize, or at least make excuses for himself, in an oblique way.  And yet he’s not talking to me.

Oh, and I see through Facebook that he hung out with a friend last night, which just rubs salt in the wound.  He had yesterday off; he had time to get in touch with someone  And he chose someone other than me.


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4 responses to “FUCK.

  1. trillian

    I’m getting the impression that he considered you a “friend with benefit”. That is, until all this emotional stuff turned up and made the whole thing not so much effortless any more.
    Your benefit was the sex plus that exact adaptation to not demand anything in exchange, so in the end you did surpress your needs and then act really cool about it. To be frank, it was a question of time how long you can keep this up. And he should have known it, had he been that big macho that he posed as, and in fact he never was: I can imagine he actually _did_ get caught up emotionally a bit and now doesn’t know what to do. I never really got the impression that he was as into you as you were into him, it always looked like his life is somewhat empty: he hangs around and plays this game with you if he’s got nothing better to do. Then if he has, you’re all of a sudden forgotten.
    I know you are heartbroken right now, but I can’t help feeling all the way that this is an actually very blank, boring guy* and you missed out on pretty much nothing. As shitty as Minx was to you in the end, she was at least interesting and complex and emotional and all that. The Pedant seems just like a prey you could not catch, but not at all that worthy 🙂

    * with lots of ego issues, methinks

  2. phoenixasubbie

    It’s always sad when they behave in ways other than promised or expected. Especially when our hearts are invested. At the very least, his non response is rude and disrespectful to me.

    You deserve better.

  3. John W.

    Good for you Cowgirl, now get out there and find someone who deserves you.

  4. kaija24

    I’m sorry 😦 He just seems to be continually disappointing. And it might not be anything sinister, just that he is incapable of giving you what you need. And it’s not fair for you to turn yourself inside out to accommodate him. Nothing is wrong with you, he’s just not right for you, it seems 😦 *hugs*

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