This was the first of three days in which I’m posing for two classes each.
In the morning I did a regular “open life drawing” class (“open” meaning it’s not one class in a whole course; you can just drop in if you feel like it and pay $10 to draw a person).
The instructor either continually forgets what I’m like as a model, or is just a giant worrywort who feels the need to say stuff whether it’s necessary or not; today before class he told me to make sure I pose facing all different directions so that everyone in the audience (which was arranged in a semi-circle in front of the posing stand) would get to see me from the front at one point or another.
“I always do that,” I said, kind of offended. This very instructor once gave me the compliment that I’m very “deliberate” in my posing, and that deliberation he noticed is that I’m constantly thinking about what my next pose will be, how it will look from every angle, and which direction I should face to make it as completely different from my current pose as possible.
He didn’t concede that I already play to my audience exceptionally well. He just said that the previous day’s model faced the front pretty much the entire time, and she was kind of hostile when he tried to gently urge her to face other directions. So I’m guessing he’s just all paranoid and that his bad day yesterday makes him really really anxious to have a better day today (there are regulars who come to every single one of his classes; it wouldn’t do to put them off with a stream of lacklustre models). I told him I’d be sure to make everyone feel included, and during the first break, when I asked him if I was doing well so far, he said “Perfect.” So yeah. I’ve still got it. 🙂
Before I left, the instructor said I oughta wear a wig sometime when I pose for him. “I actually own a ton of wigs,” I said. “I’ll wear one next time, if you want me to.” He said yeah, sure. I wonder if this is about making me seem more versatile as a model (“she can look conventional or like a giant freak!”) or if he’s just curious what I’d look like with hair? Well, whatever, playing dress-up is fun. And it’s getting colder lately so I’d actually welcome the insulation that a wig would provide.
In the afternoon I did a kink-themed drawing class hosted by someone on FetLife. The models generally wear underwear for that one, which I appreciated because I was posing as a dominant – posing as who I actually am rather than putting on a costume and pretending to be a character or getting naked and pretending to be someone graceful and demure. It made me feel oddly vulnerable and I was happy not to have my labia exposed on top of that. Also, turns out the guy hosts it out of his apartment and the space was pretty teeny; people were basically drawing me from arm’s length away. So yeah. Yay for underthings.
One of the people who showed up to the kink-themed class is someone I know – he’s an art instructor I’ve worked for on a couple of occasions and he’s drawn me at a whole bunch of different life drawing sessions. At the time, I was pretty unfazed; we greeted each other politely, as always, and chatted a bit and whatever. It was fine.
After I got home, it sank in that this guy might very well look up my FetLife profile (if he hasn’t already) – the FetLife page for the drawing event names me as today’s model, with a link. I actually don’t say much about myself on my profile, and don’t have any awkwardly seximafied photos posted for the public. I do however give a rough idea of my kinks, and it’s weirding me out that someone I know in a professional capacity is probably aware, now, that I enjoy biting and slapping androgynous young men.
And of course I also checked out his profile (he’d RSVPd on the event page, so even without a face pic on his profile it was easy enough to figure out who he was). I probably shouldn’t have looked him up, because now the next time I’m posing naked for him I’ll remember that “drawing nude models” was on his list of fetishes, as was “nipples.” Also a few different sex acts and toppy activities, but that’s his private life; I don’t care about that. What I care about is that he doesn’t see my posing or my body as particularly sexual because ew dude that’s my work. I hasten to add that he’s always acted perfectly professional in class and I feel absolutely comfortable around him. Also, lots of people put things on their FetLife fetish lists that aren’t actually fetishes of theirs – hobbies and in-jokes and random silliness. And he has a girlfriend he’s pretty nuts about so it’s not like he’s actively on the prowl.
I’m sure my feeling of awkwardness will wear off.
Anyhoo, I made a concerted effort to stay hydrated today; I also brought along a big jug of drinkable yogurt (plain, not fruity/sugary) and gulped from it at regular intervals, and ate a protein bar mid-morning and a salad between classes. My arm muscles hurt from all the exertion of posing, but once I got home I still managed to go out again and get groceries, which means all my efforts did help with my energy levels. Some days even just the grocery shopping would’ve tuckered me right out.
Tomorrow I have a morning and afternoon class at the same school, which will still of course be gruelling but at least I won’t be having to commute across town in between.
Okay, I’m off to have a hot bath with epsom salts.