An email I wrote to The Pedant this afternoon (as yet unanswered):
I’ve had your smell and taste on my mind all day. And the weight and fur and energy of you when you’re underneath me. These thoughts are driving me to distraction. Which in turn made me glance at my calendar and, yup, it’s the horndog week of my cycle.
Anyone who thinks humans are some lofty super-evolved species is an idiot. We’re still animals. I know this. Now more than ever.
Partly I wrote this to goose him into hurrying the fuck up and making plans to come over again, just in case he forgot that this is a thing I want. Partly I wrote it to sharpen my erotica skills, and also a teeny bit to show said skills off to The Pedant, himself an aspiring writer. Partly I wrote it because I’m hoping it turns him on. I know that when he jerks off, he thinks of me; now I want to see if I can make him think about me to the point where he has to jerk off. 😀
In other news, I have decided that I’m probably not attracted to V. I want to be, because I like her a lot and we have certain…specialized interests in common. But I just don’t think it’s happening. Or at least, I can’t bring myself to make a move now. I suppose if we keep on hanging out and growing closer, a greater interest might assert itself later. But really, I’m starting to think that I’m a person for whom attraction kicks in on the first meeting or not at all. Case in point: The Pedant, whom I met when he plunked himself down next to me in a nightclub and started expounding on a wide array of subjects I didn’t care about (hence his name). I tuned out his words and just sat there raptly watching his lips move all night.
I don’t think I’m going to tell her, out of the blue, that I’m not attracted to her. That seems pointlessly mean. If she asks me whether I’m ever gonna kiss her or what, that’s when I’ll bring it up my concerns re: attraction levels. As a mostly-asexual person herself, she’s experienced plenty of romantic feelings that have no sexual component, so she should probably understand where I’m coming from. Because I do kinda feel like I have a crush on her. It’s just not a crush that makes me wanna reach out and do stuff.
And finally, I posed for an art class tonight and the instructor had me do a long standing pose and once again I almost passed out. This time it was because we had a sudden spike of crazy hot weather today, and hot weather saps my energy. Just about every time I come in from outside on a hot day, I have to lie down and recuperate for an hour. Does anyone know why this happens and whether there’s any way to hasten my recovery?
I think I would’ve been okay today if it hadn’t been thirty-four degrees out (that’s ninety-three in American). I made sure to drink a lot of water and eat a lot of salt before class to get my blood pressure up, plus I brought a banana with me for a snack to keep my blood sugar up. It scares me how fickle my body can be. I’m getting a fair bit of modelling work, and that’s awesome, but will I actually be able to handle it?