Small triumphs

Been missing The Pedant’s sex lately so I sent him a text message telling him what I’m currently daydreaming about doing to him.  He just responded with “Purrr,” which is perfectly acceptable to me.

I do wish he’d tell me he daydreams about me, though.  I don’t want to actually tell him to respond to my sexts in kind, because I don’t want my hot little missives to him to feel like a grim obligation to say stuff back.  And some people are just not naturally inclined toward dirty-talk anyway so I wouldn’t want to try to force it.

But yeah, it does kinda bug me that I’ll tell him all these sexy things I’m thinking about him and he never, ever indicates he has thoughts like that about me.

So I just straight-up texted him asking “Do you think about me when you jerk off?”

I said this pretty soon after his “Purrr” so in theory he’s probably still near his phone/available to send texts/etc.  But he’s been silent a while.  The paranoid part of my brain thinks he’s recoiling from how blunt the question was, coming on the heels of my admittedly fabulous and nuanced sexytalk.  The logical part of my brain reminds me that he’s Aspie and doesn’t seem to notice bluntness or awkwardness.

Oh, wait – he just replied.  He said: “Yup.”  D’awwwww!  Embarrassed laconic boy is embarrassed and laconic.  That’s so fucking adorable I could die.  And I’m glad he didn’t qualify his answer with a “sometimes” or some big rambling thing about how Men Don’t Ever Fantasize About Only One Person so I’d better not expect that of him.

And I know that his “yup” probably doesn’t mean every time or anything.  But I’m gonna fantasize that it does because frankly, he’s the only one I ever think about.  I have better sexual chemistry with The Pedant than I can remember having with anyone ever, so he’s the only one I fantasize about.  It would be nice – though not strictly necessary, I suppose – if this were mutual.

I just typed back, “Good. :D”

At the exact same moment that I hit Enter, he sent “I assume that’s reciprocal.”  D’awwwwww again.  Sounds like my boy needs reassurance.  I wonder why he thinks I sext him, if not because his hotness is on my mind?

I responded with “Very much yes.”  Which is an understatement, really.  The Pedant has no idea how much I want him.  Literally no idea, I guess, if he actually had to ask whether I’ve gotten off to thoughts of him.

The hottest boys, to me, are the ones who don’t know they’re hot.  I just wanna snuggle him to death right now. 😀



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6 responses to “Small triumphs

  1. jnakabb

    I’d like to think of the pause in the conversation as having a sub-text along the lines of :
    “Hang on a moment, while I check”
    *minutes pass, allowing for clean-up*
    “Yup” (I guess I do)


  2. Irene

    It’s funny how differently people’s fantasy lives work. I might sit around remembering something I did with a partner, but generally speaking I don’t fantasize about anyone I’ve actually been to bed with. It seems wrong somehow. I don’t mean morally wrong whatsoever, but wrong as in it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t work — not sure how to explain it. To me fantasizing is just kind of inherently not about real relationships (though it can certainly be about people I really know).

    • I think we’re using the term differently; when I talk about “fantasizing” here, I am talking about remembering things that The Pedant and I did and using them as wank material. Or at least cobbling together wank material from bits and pieces of various things that happened.

      I may daydream about him doing uncharacteristic things, in a brief “wouldn’t-it-be-nice” kind of way, but I don’t get off to those thoughts. I don’t think I could get off while deliberately imagining him doing things he wouldn’t really do. Seems sketchy. (Is that what you mean about fantasizing being inherently not about real relationships?)

      • Irene

        I guess what I mean is that I can get turned on by memories, but not to the wanking point. If I’m actually fantasizing while masturbating (rather than just concentrating on sensations), it’s pretty much always about someone other than my partner (and for some reason previous partners, no matter how long ago, also seem to be off limits for the most part). But yeah, I also get that feeling that it’s wrong (in a more morally-wrong sort of way) to fantasize about something a partner probably wouldn’t really do, even though it seems fine to fantasize about things that I know perfectly well the folks I’m thinking of, real or fictional, would probably never do.

  3. Pingback: Thoughts on The Pedant and Asperger’s Syndrome | hiding in plain sight

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