Here’s the succession of texts I sent to Minx the day after his last visit:
I hope all the pets didn’t confuse or mislead you. I’m okay with pets and massages from you because I NEED them and I feel physically comfortable with you and you remember exactly what I like…
…But I consider those activities platonic with you. I don’t want to re-date.
It occurred to me afterward that we were doing many of the things we did when we were together, and that this might send you confusing signals. So I’m just clarifying.
I think I managed to sound pre-emptive, like I was making sure we were on the same page before anything got out of hand. That’s the angle I was going for, anyway. I feel like if I’d mentioned all the kissing, it would’ve come off as smug or chastising: “Ha! You looooove me! I know you do! And I don’t love you back so nyah nyah!”
It’s been a day or so and Minx hasn’t responded, but this doesn’t mean anything. He might be hurt or he might feel that there’s no need to reply or he might have gotten the texts at work and not had time to reply. Whatever. I’ve said my piece.
In other news, I picked up a last-minute shift today because the scheduled model had canceled. It was a full house and the crowd was really nice – several people told me they loved my poses and one told me I was “an absolute joy” to draw. I’m still floating from that one a little bit. 🙂 And there were two guys there I knew by name, and at least two others whose faces I recognized, and a guy I don’t think I knew at all but he was suuuuuper approachable and outgoing so we chatted a lot during the breaks.
Also, the new art booth is doing well so far – I stand to break even or maybe even make a profit in my first month. I think my original booth is lagging a bit but I plan to renovate it and spruce it up soon.
And last night I started a painting and I’m excited about it.
I like my life. I hope I can keep on living it like this (i.e., I hope I get more modelling jobs and my art starts to take off).