So yeah, Link has HPV warts on his asshole. The doctor told him that these only spread from direct contact – so PIV sex would be fine, I just need to keep my mouth and crotch and anus away from Link’s asshole – but I am skeptical about this (for one thing, Link never let a guy fuck his ass without a condom, and never fucked a guy with visible warts, so clearly warts can transfer over without any direct contact).
Ultimately, I decided to avoid any kind of intercourse or fellatio with Link in order to be on the safe side. Mostly because I think the exposure would be a dealbreaker for The Pedant, and it’s not worth trading amazing semi-regular loving sex with The Pedant for a few days of casual sex with Link. Especially since – as I mentioned in my previous entry – Link has kind of been pissing me off.
Link took it well when I said I wouldn’t fuck him; he was in fact the first to mention the possibility that I might want to abstain. But later, when we were making out (and he started jerking off again), he started monologuing endlessly about how much he wanted to fuck me. I’m pretty sure he was hoping to talk me into it in the heat of the moment…at any rate he was basically whining about the clear boundaries I’d set, and what the fuck is the point of that? What’s done is done.
Here’s the thing: there are other fun things to do that would totally have satisfied my need for risk prevention. Link and I could’ve spent the past two days engaging in cunnilingus (which he’s obsessed with giving), jerking each other off, one of us masturbating while the other one watched, taking sexy photos of each other or of both of us together (something we’d talked about and I uncharacteristically agreed to, within reason), etc. But I found that I was afraid to initiate any of these things lest Link started pressuring me for sex again as soon as he got turned on. It is just too frustrating/annoying to be trying to give someone a hand job and he’s like “I wanna fuck you right now…aaaargh I wanna fuck you so badly…I wish I could slide into your pussy…” yes, I get it, now shut the fuck up about the thing I explicitly said I didn’t want to do and focus on the fun we’re actually having.
Long story short: instead of us having tons of making out and touching and orgasms together, with souvenir photos to remember it all by, Link and I have spent most of his visit on our separate laptops surfing the internet. And his air of resentment is making me think I’m not going to want to have sex with him ever again, even once the HPV goes away.
The moral of the story is: stop obsessing on the sexual things your partner can’t or won’t do, and work at being creative within their boundaries instead. Or, if you simply can’t bear to compromise, just leave already. But don’t be a whiny little bitch because that’ll take you from “dozens of happy naked orgasms and hours of cuddling” to “watching cat videos on YouTube in stony silence” pretty much instantly.