You guyyyys! I feel so fuckin’ badass right now that I can hardly stand it.
Went clubbing tonight with Red and some other people and who did I spy at the club but Strawberry Blonde Ponytail Guy. This would be at least the third night I’ve seen him around and admired his hotness, and as much as I’ve tried, I have not been able to make him come over to me using the power of my mind. So I decided to be a little more direct.
I read a cool tip once about attending BDSM play parties: that if you want to play with someone you don’t know, it’s best to just be like “If you wanna play with me, come find me later!” and then walk away – that way the ball is in their court. If they’re not into you, they can just not follow up – which sounds a lot better than being explicitly shot down.
I was going to say a similar spiel to SBPG, except it took me so long to work up my nerve* that I actually needed to get going if I wanted to catch public transit while it was still running. So “come find me later” wasn’t really an option. On the bright side, if I got shot down I wouldn’t have to be around him anymore because I was leaving.
He was still standing pretty far away from me, but fuck it. I marched up to him and tapped him on the shoulder (to my great relief, he immediately and attentively made eye contact and appeared to be able to hear me clearly). And I said “Hi. I’m about to go home, but before I leave I wanted to tell you that I think you’re hot and if you ever see me around, you can totally come talk to me if you want. And if you don’t want to, I’ll just pretend this conversation never happened.”
SBPG said hi back, we exchanged names, he said it was nice to meet me, and then I wished him a good night and gave him a little smile-and-arm-squeeze and left. In retrospect I wish I’d asked for his number or email address – that way I could begin to get to know him tomorrow instead of relying on fate to bring us to the same nightclub again. But probably my hands would’ve shaken too hard for me to properly enter his info into my phone, anyway. 😀
As it was, I got a really good vibe from our brief interaction. SBPG came off softspoken but friendly, and even if we never end up talking again it was nice that he asked me my name and stuff instead of just being like “Ummm okay thanks bye.”
There’s a certain breed of guy who just loves to bitch about how men always have to do all the work in courtship and women are always passive and uncommunicative, blah blah evopsych blah blah sexual economics blah. To this breed of guy I say: HOW D’YOU LIKE THEM APPLES? Not only did I fuckin’ make the initial approach with SBPG, I was direct. I didn’t “accidentally” bump into this dude so I could break the ice by apologizing; I didn’t pretend to think I knew him from somewhere; I didn’t make crappy small talk. I goddamn well went over there and told him I thought he was hot and I hoped to get to know him better. So you can stop tarring all teh womenz with the same brush now.
Annnyhoo, I think it’s a good bet that the next time I see SBPG, he will come say hi. And if he doesn’t, well, then I’ll know he’s not interested back, and I won’t have to obsess about it anymore.
*In my defence, he spent a large portion of the night way over on the other side of the room and it would’ve been potentially awkward to go all the way over there (what if he decided at the last minute to go dance or something? I’d be left hanging. There would be no graceful way to recover from that). Then he was talking to some friends, and I could hardly approach him then.