On its face, the meeting with the guy about the apartment went okay – but I took The Social Worker with me and afterward we agreed we’d both gotten a bad vibe. The more we talked about it, the more bad things we noticed.
-He seemed really resistant to me putting any of my stuff in the common areas of the house. His words were polite when we discussed things, but the overall feeling I got was…not good. I talked about putting my end tables in the living room and he looked like he wanted to spit in my eye. I asked how he’d feel about me putting my tv and my DVD collection in the living room and he outright said he’d prefer I didn’t.
-He seemed irritated at how long The Social Worker and I spent looking at the place. Ummm sorry dude but this is a big decision and I don’t think it’s that weird for me to want to stand in “my” room for ten or fifteen minutes trying to picture whether my furniture would fit.
-He claimed to be looking for a long-term, stable roommate arrangement but he’d only been in that apartment for a year and a half, had three roommates during that time, and didn’t ask me anything about what I do for a living/whether I could afford rent, etc. And his current job is just a six-month contract and he had no clear plan for what he’d do after that. It all screams “flight risk” to me.
-The place was a little grungy, and he claimed he usually keeps it cleaner but had been working too much lately to adhere to his usual standard. He also claimed that although he tends slightly toward hermit-ness, he makes himself go out somewhere every day. I think both of these statements are lies: I can smell a sugarcoated clinical depressive a mile away.
-He said that he tends to have company over frequently – like every other day or so – and that the landlord is somewhat negligent about repairs/upgrades. Maybe this was a sugarcoating of the truth (no repairs ever? People over every day?) or maybe it wasn’t; either way, it’s too much for me.
The Social Worker and I agreed that we got a strong whiff of passive-aggression from this dude – we think he probably uses his silent disapproval to manipulate people into giving him his own way (like when he got all silent and hateful-looking at the mention of end tables).
So yeah. Not gonna do this.
I’m thinking of scoping out roommates on Craigslist, though. Maybe I could find someone who – like me – is thinking about moving but hasn’t given notice yet and is in no hurry, and the two of us can a) hang out more than once to make sure there’s a rapport and b) find a place together so it feels like ours from the getgo and nobody’s territorial.
I was also potentially thinking that The Doll would make an excellent roommate, if he’d be into it. He’s quiet, nerdy, not at all a partier, would probably never have people over but if he did I’ve met his closest friends and really like them so that’s fine, he loves Bastardcat, we’re both kink-friendly (and I wouldn’t mind if he hung around the house in latex…), I think we’re about equally messy…the problem, of course, is that I think maaaaybe he’d still like to date me if he could, and this of course would make it awkward to live with him. Especially since he will eventually hear me having sex with other people. If The Doll were dating someone of his own now, that might defuse the situation, but to the best of my knowledge he’s not. So, must…resist…urge…to…ask…stupid…thing. 😀