Alrighty! The Pedant and I are on for a movie on Tuesday. Took him seven hours to reply to my invite email – during which I got all paranoid wondering if our FeelingsTalk had spooked him and he was pulling a fade – but yeah. We’ll see a movie and he’ll spend the night after.
I just noticed that, timing-wise, I’ll either be in the horndog part of my cycle when he’s here, or possibly on my period. God, I hope it’s the former. Sex will happen either way but it’ll be more fun and less sticky if I’m not bleeding. 😛
And as blog is my witness, I’m gonna start exerting my sexual needs more forcefully (“No, seriously, don’t push my legs so far apart” “Whoa, hey now, I said that was too intense!”) and maybe even have an actual formal talk about that, too. Because the double-standard is bullshit.
The Pedant has told me that he needs to be stroked at a slow pace in order to come. He’s demonstrated to me that he needs a fairly light touch. He’s asked me not to keep stroking the head through and beyond his orgasm because it’s too much. And I’ve paid attention and changed my approach.
I’ve told him that I need to be on my back, with my legs straight out and fairly close together, receiving indirect stimulation in order to come. And The Pedant…continues to push my legs up to my chest and lick the tip of my clitoris with approximately two hundred pounds of pressure. And, on one notable occasion, indicated that I should be able to come standing up because a previous partner did.
It’s always weird to me when a guy is ostensibly really keen to give me orgasms, and will put all kinds of work into it, but refuses to actually do the things I need. In a way this situation reminds me uncomfortably of Minx, except with Minx it’s that his ADD and anxiousness to please made him focus on what he was doing to me to the exclusion of all else (including me saying “stop” or “don’t” or “ow”) whereas with The Pedant I feel like he’s just trying to make me conform to some porn ideal in his head. Or maybe most of his other partners have liked the way he does things so he’s got it in his head that his technique is the One True Way.
I hope I can handle this inevitable talk well. It’s tricky. I don’t want to shame all experimentation out of him – I’m glad I let him mash the Hitachi into me that one time! I didn’t come, but it gave me some fascinating sensations I’d never experienced before! – but I guess I want there to be a time for experiments and a time for straightforward, “you clearly want to come so I’m gonna make that happen for you” type stuff. And the ratio should be a lot different than it is now.