Last week’s Pedant visit, belated part V.

The Pedant and I snuggled until I regained my mental faculties.  Then we had some breakfast and he finally took that shower…after which he sat on the edge of my bed and brusquely said “Okay” and I thought he was going to announce that he’d be leaving (we’d only planned for him to spend one night and he hadn’t mentioned how long he would hang out the next day) but no, his next words were something like “Time to get started on the cleaning.”  Because he’d mentioned wanting to help me tidy in here, you see, and when The Pedant offers me help with things, he follows through.

He started energetically sorting the mess in the bedroom into piles.  I was having kind of a low-energy day, so I mostly just sat on the bed and micro-sorted these piles.  The Pedant didn’t seem to notice or care that he was doing most of the work.  And, dude, my bedroom was in a gross state.  He found some ancient orange peels on the floor, and used Q-tips and old cat vomit residue and lord only knows what other disgusting things, and he dealt with it matter-of-factly and without shaming me.

After maybe two hours at most, the room was astonishingly improved.  Astonishingly.  You could see the entire floor!  The Pedant then started vacuuming the carpet.  Now, I know that attraction is a pretty random thing, and as such I try not to subscribe to the idea of “leagues”…but for whatever reason I’ve never been able to shake the feeling that The Pedant is out of my league.  He’s confident, he’s outgoing, he’s hot, he always smells good…I’m continually surprised that he sees anything in me.  And so it was incredibly surreal to be lounging on the bed watching him vacuum my apartment naked.  As someone who a) loves the idea of having a service sub* and b) really likes seeing The Pedant naked, this was pretty fuckin’ awesome.

“Is your laundry done yet?” The Pedant asked me (I’d thrown on a load earlier).  “It probably would be, yes,” I said.  “I guess I’d better go get it and hang it up.”  (I have a drying rack I deploy in the bathtub on these occasions.)  And I began reluctantly putting some clothes on.

The Pedant said something about it being a shame that I don’t keep sugary drinks in the apartment because he could really use something.  Turns out he’s kind of addicted to juices and sodas of various kinds (how did I not know that?) and he either asked me or I offered to go to the corner store and pick him up something, since I was putting pants on anyway.

The Pedant requested a bottle of that poisonous-looking red Crush cream soda, but oddly (considering it’s a major brand name)  the store didn’t carry it.  The closest thing they had was some fancy soda brand in glass bottles that came in a “vanilla cream” flavour, so I bought a bottle of that and a bottle of their “orange cream” flavour too, for good measure.  I hoped The Pedant’s craving wasn’t so specific that these would be a disappointment.

When I came home and showed The Pedant this sugary bounty, he was super happy.  “You really went all out!” he said, and thanked me several times.  It may be the most I’ve ever seen him emote outside of sex (I’m not even kidding.  Sadly.).  So, I’m gonna say Gifts are a love language for him.  I immediately decided to stock the fridge with a selection of delicious things the next time he was coming over, and asked The Pedant what beverages he tended to like so I’d know what to get.  From the sounds of it, damn near any toxic, sugary drink makes him happy (so I guess I didn’t need to angst so much over finding a close replacement for the cream soda he requested!).

I like having this Love Language information about The Pedant because it gives me a tool to manipulate him with.  In a nice way.  By which I mean: I have no idea how he actually feels about me, but in accidentally speaking my Love Languages (Touch and Acts of Service) he’s made me feel special and cared for and this in turn has made me get all twitterpated over him.  Now that I have an idea of what his Love Languages are, I can perhaps engender the same mushy feelings in him.  MUAH HA HA HA HA HA.

By the way, every time I went in or out the front door, The Pedant got all paranoid about the neighbours possibly seeing in and would kinda half-close the bedroom door and peek around the edge of it.  This was both cute and weird to me because a) he stopped being self-conscious about nudity with me ages ago, so I’d forgotten that he could be so shy; b) while my front door does offer a clear view of the bedroom if both doors are open, you’d hear it if someone was out in the hallway.  And I always slid in and out in such a way that I blocked the view with my body, just in case. c) Why not just close the bedroom door entirely?  And why the need to always peek around the edge whenever I came in?  Did he think some random stranger was breaking in using a key?

Anyway.  It had been stupid-hot out that day and I had ill-advisedly worn a pair of dark jeans to the store, so by the time I got those drinks and dealt with the laundry I was feeling overheated and limp as a noodle.  I stripped naked again and flopped onto first the couch, then the bed, while The Pedant continued to vacuum (it’s a small room, but the carpet had become so gross that The Pedant wanted to go over it multiple times).

The Pedant was not bitter whatsoever that he was slaving away while I reclined and watched.  He didn’t even acknowledge the imbalance.  Amazing.

After a while of sprawling in front of the fan, I managed to drag myself into the kitchen and make us some salads with chicken on top for dinner.    After we ate I asked if The Pedant would like to watch a DVD (I had a couple of movies from my collection I thought he’d like and wanted to show him) and, remarkably, he said “Nah, I feel like we need to keep the momentum going on the whole cleaning thing.”  And he went into the now-immaculately-floored bedroom and began sorting all the crap that was cluttering the tops of the dressers and nightstand.

Throughout this entire cleaning odyssey, I was periodically coming up to The Pedant to hug and/or kiss and/or caress him, because he was pretty and naked and being so very helpful and I was overwhelmed with gratitude.  He started responding by planting a kiss on my neck while simultaneously making a cartoonish chomping sound, which I found utterly endearing and domestic and adorable.

While The Pedant tidied the surfaces of my bedroom furniture, I suddenly realized I was running low on some key groceries and had just enough time to run to the store before it closed (it was after nine and one of the grocery stores near me closes at ten).  I asked The Pedant if he wanted anything, and he requested two bottles of orange Gatorade or Powerade (whichever I could find).  So yeah, he really will drink any crap at all.  I’m definitely going to surprise him with beverages at some point.

When I returned, he told me he’d been texting with Pixie and she’d invited us out to watch her friend play music (this was very much a ploy on Pixie’s part to hook up with me).  For some reason I was thinking he meant the following night, so he and I talked around each other for a few minutes before he set me straight that no, it was that night.  Like, in a couple of hours.  I was surprised to realize that I’d recovered from the afternoon’s fatigue pretty well and actually had the spoons to go out and deal with people.  I said okay.  The Pedant said he might as well stay over a second night, and I agreed.

We spent the time until the bar thing partially dismantling my bed in order to tidy and vacuum underneath it.  And by “we” I mean “mostly The Pedant.”

Then we showered and dressed (I deliberately wore a dress that shows off my rack because apparently Pixie loves boobs) and went to the thing at the bar, whose events I go into in more detail here.

The Pedant and I left; Pixie stayed behind to hang with her friend.  Most of the way home, I was giggling and going “I made out with a girl.  A lot.  In public.”  Sometimes I was focusing on the “girl” part of this sentiment, other times on the “in public” – I really don’t find public makeouts appropriate, but I’d wanted to explore with Pixie a bit and liked how “safe” I felt in public with The Pedant there – nothing could escalate to terrifying naked places.

“It’s really no big deal,” The Pedant said in response to me angsting about the public spectacle Pixie and I had made of ourselves.

I side-eyed him and said “You won’t kiss me in public…”

“I won’t kiss anyone in public,” The Pedant corrected me.

I said “Right, because you feel it’s rude.  And so do I.  Hence my feeling weird about tonight.”

“Ah.”  (Did he really not see where I was going with that?  And does he really think it’s “no big deal” for me to slobber all over some chick at a bar and yet he won’t so much as greet me with a peck on the cheek?  Nice double standard, buddy.)

At one point I asked The Pedant if my makeouts with Pixie had turned him on; he said yes.  I hadn’t kissed her for that reason, but it was still fun to think I’d gotten The Pedant all fired up.  Or maybe it was Pixie who’d done that, since The Pedant went on to tell me he’s always found her hot and hoped that maybe she’s homoflexible enough to make out with him sometime.  I got a surge of jealousy from that, but said nothing because I knew it was irrational.   Not only does Pixie not want The Pedant, she does want me; therefore The Pedant’s little crush on her is pretty much irrelevant to my life.

I think it was when we got home that night that The Pedant asked to borrow my toothbrush because he hadn’t brought his.  I’m completely grossed out by the idea of sharing a toothbrush with someone, but I have shitloads of new ones accumulated from my dentist over the years so I dug out one of those.  He left it in the holder with mine when he was done, which I’m not taking as any huge sign or anything, but I like it.  I’ve missed feeling domestic with someone, and it does make some sense for The Pedant to keep a toothbrush here.  I’ve invited him to buy some shower gel to keep here, too; mine irritates his skin and frankly I don’t feel like laying out money to buy something else that might do the same.  He says he’ll pick something up.

Actually, it’s not “feeling domestic” that I want per se – it’s a sense of security.  I flat-out do not want to be totally single right now – I am feeling too old for that shit.  I just want someone steady in my life – someone I care about, someone I’m attracted to, someone who does sweet things for me and is fun in bed.  I like the idea of The Pedant keeping stuff here because it implies  a certain amount of permanency.  I’ve been obsessing on whether he has feelings for me because I know he’s seeking out new partners and I’m afraid of having my position usurped.  And yeah, a toothbrush isn’t gonna keep him from bailing.  Even if he’s in love with me, it’s no guarantee that he won’t eventually leave for whatever reason.

But it’s better than nothing.

*Not that The Pedant was being a service sub, particularly.  If anything he was taking charge of the cleaning process – and most likely doing it to indulge his Aspie tendency toward order and organization, not to please me.  But vacuuming naked while I lounged around watching is totally the kind of thing a service sub would do, so I fantasized a little bit. 😛


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6 responses to “Last week’s Pedant visit, belated part V.

  1. trillian

    I hate to say it but here is something that is very much out of balance. It’s just not right.
    Can’t exactly say why but you should put your shields up as soon as possible. I hate being negative but… I don’t know. Nothing feels right in this story, except your truly lovely-womanly-person becoming all loved up with a single person again. There is just nothing poly about this – you’re hooked and he’s not. (“Is the impression I get”.)

    Minx was so selfish but I felt he actually loved you a lot more than this guy. I am absolutely very suspicous about the Pedant for exactly this – like his trigger is exactly what is happening, but is this okay? No it can’t be okay – you can’t cuddle a girl endlessly like lovers do and then not ask for 2 weeks how she’s doing.. you’re seeing it or arent’ you?

    • trillian

      “like his trigger is exactly what is happening”

      With this, I seriously mean – have you ever thought about his arousal coming from the fact how unresponsible and “freefuck” this whole thing can be?
      Like he loves the whole freebie thing about you and that all gets him high?

      Like he will never commit to any woman unless it’s some unreachable “petite” sex dream of his he will never get any way.

      • have you ever thought about his arousal coming from the fact how unresponsible and “freefuck” this whole thing can be? Like he loves the whole freebie thing about you and that all gets him high?

        I’m getting a bit of a sex negative/slut shaming vibe here – there seems to be an assumption that The Pedant should be “paying” for my sex and companionship in some way and because I’m not insisting upon this, he’s getting away with something.

        What is he meant to be giving me in exchange? And why am I supposed to want anything in exchange? I’m enjoying the sex and snuggles; they are their own reward.

        Like he will never commit to any woman unless it’s some unreachable “petite” sex dream of his he will never get any way.

        Like me, The Pedant doesn’t think monogamy is a feasible relationship model – so he doesn’t plan to commit to anyone. Not in the “only you, ’til death do us part” sense, anyway. Doesn’t matter how pretty or tiny or perfect the girl is.

    • There is just nothing poly about this – you’re hooked and he’s not.

      You may well be right that I’m more invested in this than he is, but I don’t see how that’s not poly. Polyamory is about people having (or being open to) multiple simultaneous reomantic relationships with everyone involved consenting. There’s nothing in the fine print about every relationship being perfectly symmetrical feelings-wise.

      you can’t cuddle a girl endlessly like lovers do and then not ask for 2 weeks how she’s doing.. you’re seeing it or arent’ you?

      I’m giving benefit of the doubt because I know he’s not neurotypical. But yes, I do feel like his behaviour kind of sends mixed signals.

      At the same time, I love endless cuddles. I would hate to have to wait until the next time I fall in love and officially enter a relationship to have that again. So I’m happy to be getting that.

      I am gonna put my guard up, though. If The Pedant heard me say I’m falling for him and chose to ignore it, that’s really not a great sign. 😛

  2. Brugmansia

    I thought that my Love Languages were how I express love, and what makes me feel loved … not what makes me love someone. So me speaking someone else’s Love Languages will make them feel loved … not make them love me. Unless your logic is that feeling loved encourages feelings of love. Hmm. That may be true. Interesting …

    • That is my logic, yes. If you’re already sleeping with someone you like a lot and get along with and they start to do the things that make you feel cherished, I think it’d be hard not to develop more-than-friendly feelings.

      I say this because that’s completely how it worked for me, with The Pedant. If he wasn’t so snuggly and helpful with chores, I think he’d probably still just be some fun guy I’m sleeping with. 😛 His sweet actions made me reconsider him.

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