Okay, I’m finally ready to complete the story of The Pedant’s last visit (which started here). That visit was over a week ago at this point, and the details are getting fuzzy for me, but there are some things that happened that I want to commemorate, so I’m going to try to get it all down in pixels as best I can.
So. He arrived mid-afternoon last Thursday. Sexytimes happened. Then I think The Pedant and I agreed it felt like dinnertime, so I prepared us a salad with some form of protein next to it (rainbow trout, I think). While we ate, I was like “Hey, can I ask you something? …If we’re doing bedroom stuff and you’re starting to lose your erection, is that a sign that we should take a break for a bit? Like, should I stop automatically or just power through unless you say otherwise?”
I asked this because The Pedant – and other partners as well – will go a little bendy during hand jobs sometimes but when I say “Did you want me to keep going…?” the answer is almost always yes. And I don’t want to embarrass a guy by saying “Dude, you are too flaccid for me to even continue with this hand job. On what should be the down-stroke, your dick just kind of accordions into itself. It’s time to give up.” I’ve always wondered if these guys somehow don’t know they’ve gone soft, or if they feel it would be unmanly to admit defeat, or if they really are turned on and still willing and able to come, but just won’t be completely hard when it happens*.
The Pedant said that sometimes he has to pee (or is just tired) and doesn’t realize it and this interferes with his sexual functioning a bit – and that a full bladder was the culprit earlier, when I was riding him and he couldn’t get to the finish. And he said that in future he should probably slip into the coffee shop down the street and use their facilities before he comes by. First off, WTF? There’s a perfectly good bathroom in my apartment. Does he think it’s impolite to use my bathroom within the first hour of being here, or what? Second of all, it’s enlightening to realize the erection issues are often urinary in nature, but he didn’t actually answer my question. I hadn’t asked “Why do you go bendy sometimes?”, I’d asked “When you go bendy, what do you want me to do?” – I wanted to avoid those situations where his orgasm is clearly a lost cause and yet he’s telling me to keep on going. I guess I wanted permission to override him and just go “You’re too bendy. I’m stopping now. We shall resume at a later time.”
But it had taken all my courage even to ask the question, so when The Pedant gave me a non-answer I didn’t have any guts left with which to say “Okay, but that’s not what I asked” or “You do know that I have a bathroom here, right?” or anything like that. I just let it go.
After dinner, The Pedant asked me if I wanted help setting up my Tumblr account, which I hadn’t had time to work on since I’d bitched about it here. So, we worked on that for a while, with me surreptitiously checking my blog comments so we could find some of the menus we needed. 😀 Tumblr is organized in a really fucked up way btw. Some stuff is not in a place that makes any sense.
When we were customizing my chosen theme, The Pedant guessed – rightly – that I’d want my headings fuchsia, to match my hair. Sometimes I forget how sharp he is. Social intelligence is not the only kind.
Also worth mentioning: almost any time I do anything technological (set up some kind of internet page, start customizing the phone he gave me), The Pedant offers me unsolicited advice about what I should do and how I should do it. Because of this, I assumed he was one of these super-critical people like Minx who can never say anything nice about anything. But no, when I told The Pedant I wanted the look of my Tumblr page to match my about.me page as much as possible, and showed him my about.me, he was visibly impressed and said it looked great. He even reiterated the praise in passing later on (“…your about.me page, which you clearly don’t need any help with…”). It made me glow a little bit. 🙂
Once the Tumblr page was looking half-decent, I happened to mention I was craving chocolate and The Pedant said “You want to go to the corner store and get chocolate, don’t you? Okay, let’s go.” I hadn’t actually planned on going to the store (I’m cheap and lazy and sugar is bad for me anyway) and if I had announced an intention of going, I would’ve expected The Pedant to want to stay behind. But no, he went through the whole process of getting his clothes on and lint-brushing them and everything and we went to the 7-11 for ice cream bars – and he paid for mine. 😀
When we got back from this little road trip, we got naked again and cuddled up on the couch to watch some Futurama on DVD. Next thing I knew, I was woken up by the DVD ending and The Pedant petting me and saying “Let’s get you to bed.”
Relocating to the bed kinda broke the spell and I felt somewhat alert and somewhat interested in sex…but The Pedant seemed pretty committed to the whole “sleep” thing, so I cuddled up to him and shut my eyes and eventually passed out again.
More to come.
*Erection, orgasm, and ejaculation usually happen in conjunction with one another, but they don’t have to. I once dated a guy with a spinal injury who rarely got erections but could orgasm/ejaculate while totally limp.