Countdown to Pedant-Time!

I’m looking forward to The Pedant’s upcoming visit more and more.

I love the way he’s so calm and confident and outspoken in his normal life, yet I can reduce him to a whimpering puddle – it’s a side of him that probably not many people have seen, and it’s hot as fuck.  I love the fact that he often seems to struggle to use his words when it comes to bedroom stuff; when he haltingly asks me to tie him up or play with his nipples, it makes me think that he must want these things incredibly much – so much so that he’s forced to overcome his reticence and ask for them – and the idea of this inner tension between shyness and need makes me swoon.

I love that he likes to be tied up.  I love (and didn’t expect to love…) that he offers his wrists and ankles for restraint willingly, with no pretence of me having to “force” him.  As much as the idea of resistance play turns me on, I guess it also turns me on that The Pedant flat-out wants what he wants and doesn’t try to couch it as some sort of game.

I love that the second he comes, he wants me to release him from the restraints – apparently so he can snuggle with me, since that’s always what he immediately does.  And then promptly falls asleep with his arms locked around me, which is endearing as all hell.

I love how much time he’s willing to spend on getting me to orgasm.  Hell, maybe lots of guys would do that – for most of my adult life I’ve felt kind of guilty at demanding sexual attention, and would hurry through “my turn” so as not to be a burden.  It could be that “my turn” with The Pedant is so long, luxurious, and thorough only because I’m finally letting it be.  But the fact of the matter is that he’ll do pleasurable things to me for a really long time without copping any kind of “are you done yet, or what?” attitude, and all that buildup means that I have more fun and my orgasms are just ridiculously strong.  That, more than anything, is why he’s been on my mind so much since the last time I saw him: because I can’t remember the last time someone drew those sounds and sensations out of me and I’m still kind of stupefied by it.

But I have a dilemma: I feel that The Pedant would likely be more fun to play with if he were a little pent up, but I’m not sure I have the chutzpah and will power to actually make it happen.

As much as The Pedant makes offhanded references to jerking off five times in a row/jerking off once a day, every day/etc., when he’s with me he seems to have kind of a long refractory period.  Like…if I get him off in the evening, he won’t be coming again until at least the following evening*.  My theory is that if I make that first evening be “my turn” and then just go to sleep after, and then maybe claim another turn for myself the next morning, The Pedant will be good and ready to come once I finally start lavishing attention on him.  Which would be nice because I especially like it when he comes during sex and most of the time my thigh muscles wear out long before I’m able to get him there.  If he’s backed up that might speed up the process and also make it easier to tease/edge him.  I’m also curious to see if being backed up would make him more attentive and physically affectionate in general (it sure does for me…there was one time when we had sex in the morning and I didn’t come and OMG I was all the fuck over him for the entire rest of the day).

Reasons why the above plan is difficult for me:

1) He doesn’t really offer to get me off anymore – our default state seems to be me restraining him and doing stuff to him.  He’ll give me “my turn” if I specifically ask, and he’ll do a goddamn fantastic job of it, but sometimes I feel shy about asking.  

2) It’s deeply ingrained in me that accepting sexual favours and then not returning them is rude.  It would be really difficult for me to have a bunch of Pedant-assisted orgasms and then be like “Okay, well, goodnight!” – even though he’s said that coming isn’t the be-all and end-all for him and even though he’s done the inverse to me.  

3) I thrive on his sounds and reactions during sex so much that I’m not sure I could resist tying him up and making him come once makeouts are underway.

3a) These days it’s difficult for me to even get turned on enough to want orgasms.  Y’know what gets me to that state the fastest?  Watching The Pedant come.  Even when I was younger and had a way faster/stronger arousal response, I still preferred to come second so I could get off to the memory of my partner’s climax.  This causes issues with guys like The Pedant who become disinterested and/or sleepy the moment they get off.

4) I love tying The Pedant up, but it makes things so…formal, so “my turn” vs. “your turn.”  We can’t just segue between me pleasuring him and vice-versa like it’s all part of the same continuum; if I want him to start giving me a hand job instead of vice-versa I have to announce it, clamber off him, and scramble around the bed undoing the restraints.  It’s kind of a mood killer.

5) I wonder…if I attempted to draw things out by not making him come the first time or two that we had sexytimes, would he secretly relieve the tension himself?  Like during one of the five million showers he always takes when he’s here?  What a waste that would be.  Hell, I can’t even bring myself to ask him to jerk off for my viewing pleasure – I’d love to see that, but fear it would “use him up” for the next twenty hours or so and/or get me ferociously turned on just in time for him to pass out.

In the past I’ve been climbing off him mid-sex to get myself off via the Hitachi, and that was a pretty good way of making sure I was satisfied before The Pedant “finished” and instantly fell asleep.  In theory, I could Hitachi myself and then just quit attending to The Pedant when I got tired, thus stringing him along until the next day.  But my last session with The Pedant reminded me quite vividly that orgasms administered by someone else are waaaay better than the ones I give myself, so I’m loath to do that.  I want most – if not all – of my orgasms with The Pedant to be directly caused by him from now on.

So I’m not sure if our next sexytimes will take the shape I’m fantasizing about.  But I have no doubt I’ll have lots of fun either way. 🙂

 

*We’ll do sexual stuff in the meantime; he just doesn’t usually “finish”.  Which makes me wonder how much of said sexual stuff he’s initiating for my benefit.  Does he know he’s not gonna orgasm but he proceeds with the sexytimes anyway because he thinks I expect it?  Or is he one of these people who enjoys the journey?

5 Comments

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5 responses to “Countdown to Pedant-Time!

  1. Andy

    With respect to #2, I know you discussed him not masturbating before he came to see you and he wasn’t so keen on it, but do you think he’d go for it if you explicitly told him (while he was at your house), “I’m not getting you off now because I’m saving you for later?” I have a denial kink, so obviously I’m biased here, but someone not bothering to try to get me off pisses me off and makes them seem selfish and lazy. Someone explicitly saying, “I have considered your orgasm very carefully and have made an *informed* decision not to bother with it” is a totally different scenario though.

    And with respect to #4, maybe you can tie him up in a different way? You could tie his hands together but not tie him to the bed. Then he could still move around and use his mouth on you, or even his fingers, a little. You could tie just his ankles to the bed and put him face down and position yourself underneath him and then he could do all sorts of things to you.

    • do you think he’d go for it if you explicitly told him (while he was at your house), “I’m not getting you off now because I’m saving you for later?”

      I’m not sure. Oddly, I think there’s a good chance that if I told him I was deliberately saving him, he’d question my judgment/argue that denial won’t produce the effect(s) I want, whereas if I just said “Sorry, I’m really tired and need to sleep right now…but I’ll get you good tomorrow” he’d accept it without complaint.

      And with respect to #4, maybe you can tie him up in a different way?

      Mmmmaybe. I know he likes to be restrained specifically so he can’t really move/thrash when I’m stimulating him, so in theory tying his hands together won’t immobilize him enough. Which means he won’t be as turned on, which means I’ll have less fun watching his responses.

      But I’ve thought before about securing him in various ways, and changing things up during the sexytimes. Specifically, I like the idea of attaching his wrists to his thighs (and have asked for his thigh measurements so I can make cheap thigh restraints, but he never got back to me on that). If his wrists were linked to his thighs, that would open up some possibilities for how/where he could touch me. And later on, I could unclip the wrist restraints and attach them to the corners of the bed as usual.

      Things are somewhat complicated by the fact that we’re not really on a cunnilingus basis with each other and that I’m kind of difficult to get off these days. But you’ve got me brainstorming. 😀

      • Andy

        This comes too late now, but I just wanted to clarify I meant tying his hands together as opposed to tying them to the bed. I didn’t mean they would have to be the only things you tied up 😀 You could tie his legs together, his upper arms to his torso AND his wrists together and then he’d be unable to thrash but still able to maneuver himself about if he really had to.

        • It’s not too late. He’s not coming over til tomorrow. 🙂

          I suppose it’s “too late” in the sense that I lack the bondage equipment to do any of what you suggested and there’s no time to make any…

          Oh, but speak of the devil, The Pedant just wrote to me saying he’ll measure his thighs for me when he gets a chance (I said at this point I might as well just do it when he comes over; I own a tape measure, he doesn’t). The fact that he remembered – and was planning on measuring for me – means he’s into the idea of thigh restraints. This is…very promising indeed. 😀

          Now I’m tempted to install eye-bolts randomly all over the walls of the apartment just so I can casually clip him in place. But I’ll try to refrain, since I’ve already made entirely too many holes in the walls here and the landlady is gonna hate me when she finds this out. 😀

  2. Pingback: Amazing Pedant is amazing – part I | hiding in plain sight

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