The 23 year old and I did finally manage to meet up. (I should give him a name…ummm okay, The Puppy.) Apparently the issue is that his brother had a doctor’s appointment today and totally forgot about it until the last mnute. So, The Puppy’s brother took the car, and The Puppy figured coming to my city (an hour or more away from where he lives) after the appointment would be too late and too rushed – he’d been hoping to go to a fetish store to buy some leather gear. But his brother came back faster than anticipated and so we met after all – just a couple of hours later than originally planned.
The thing about saying overly enthusiastic/mushy/sexy things to someone you haven’t met yet is that when you do meet, it’s all the more nerve-wracking because you have all these dreams to live up to. As I said before, I did try to rein in my urge to talk about the future as if we’d definitely be play partners, but a few things did slip out because he just seems so awesome – and he was more effusive than me. So when we met we were a little guarded and kind of sheepish with each other.
The Puppy and I met up in the kinky clothing store, and at first I felt like maybe I wasn’t attracted to him, despite his cuteness…but now I think this was just me (and/or him) being a little extra distant to compensate for being too enthusiastic via phone and text. As the day wore on, I warmed up to him.
The Puppy was wanting to buy a leather chest-harness to wear to kink events – something that would hopefully broadcast to everyone that he was submissive. He already has a harness (kind of an over-the-shoulder thing with a built in pocket to keep keys and stuff in) but he feels like everyone in his local kink community has seen it by now and it’s time for something different.
He ended up getting a very nice harness where all the straps connect to central O-rings via snaps, so it’s possible to rearrange the straps for different looks. He also got a pair of leather shorts the are constructed like chaps – just basically a pair of legs strung onto a belt. He seemed really into hearing about which items in the store caught my fancy (not just out of what he was considering buying, but out of everything in the store) and when he was trying stuff on, he always opened the curtain and showed me and asked for my opinion.
After he made his purchases, we decided to grab a bite to eat. Thankfully, he said he’s got no allergies and is not picky about food whatsoever so I should pick whatever I wanted. We went to good old Swiss Chalet, where they have a convenient chart listing allergen information. Apparently their new butter chicken is gluten-free, so I tried it. I’m not a connoisseur of Indian food by any means, so I can’t tell you if it was really authentic or not, but I thought it tasted good.
While we ate, we talked about all kinds of stuff, including what The Puppy wants out of a BDSM scene. He likes to see how much pain he can take, but he likes it to be structured and finite – either a set number of blows with a striking implement or a set amount of time for the scene to take place, or both. He doesn’t want to just be tied up and experience pain with no idea when it will end. This makes sense to me – dude has to budget out his tolerance.
The Puppy asked me what kinds of guys I usually look for – assuring me that he was seriously asking and not just digging for compliments. I told him, truthfully, that for ages I was super into skinny effeminate dudes but lately my tastes are expanding to include more burly/manly/muscular types (which is how I’d describe The Puppy).
The Puppy mentioned during dinner that there’s something about me that seems to command respect. He says he’s had women try to boss him around really soon after meeting him and he just didn’t feel it at all, and refused to obey; but if I asked him to do stuff, he’d do it. That’s pretty sweet.
Incidentally – I don’t know how, because he’s cute and funny and seems like he’d be a really good play partner/sub – but The Puppy has never had a long-term, regular dominant. Only sporadic play partners. And I’ve never had a long-term, regular sub (I thought Minx would be that for me, but we were not a good fit in that way…I’m not sure he even is submissive per se). I’m hoping The Puppy and I can fix this for each other.
Throughout our entire evening together, he ushered me ahead of him, opened doors for me, etc. It made me realize that I’m accustomed to following people around rather than having them follow me. The change was nice. 🙂 Also, he paid for my meal. I don’t expect guys to do this and indeed they don’t usually offer, so that was very sweet and unexpected.
After dinner, The Puppy said he was parked way further downtown and that if I wanted to walk that far with him, he could drive me home after. I said okay, and we had a nice unhurried wander as we talked some more. I guess I must have been walking kind of far away from him to keep our hands/arms from bumping because at one point he was like “I feel bad that you’re so far away, like I’m pushing you off the sidewalk or something!” and illustrated his point by driving his shoulder against mine and railroading me off to one side. It was a pretty obvious ploy to bring me physically closer to him, and I thought it was sweet.
A few minutes later he asked me outright if he could hold my hand. In my experience, guys have seemed to regard hand-holding as a pretty big sign of affection and/or commitment; it’s usually something that happens after I’m officially dating someone, not before a first kiss. But I don’t feel it’s that huge of a deal, and I was feeling increasingly attracted to The Puppy and wanted to touch him, so I acquiesced.
A little while after that, we passed a park and The Puppy asked if I felt like sitting on a bench for a bit. I did. We sat there talking about random stuff (octopi, I think) and he was giving me the huge puppydog eyes as he spoke and leaning his shoulder against mine, and during a pause in the conversation I said “I’m going to kiss you” and he eagerly said “okay” and then we were kissing. He has really full lips, and I hate to say it* but full lips are totally the best kind as far as I’m concerned. A dude with full lips barely needs to have any kissing skills in order to please me – he could literally just lie there not even kissing back (as The Pedant often does!) and I’d still have a terrific time. Creepy though that probably sounds. 😛 Having said that, The Puppy did have decent skills, as well. Varied amounts of pressure, not too much tongue, etc.
After a minute or two we broke away and continued talking…and then he asked to kiss me again, this time going for my neck and kind of raking his nails down my back at the same time. He was too rough in both areas, and I said so; he immediately scaled back. We made out, fairly chastely and somewhat briefly. Then we continued the walk to his car.
On the ride home, I asked him if he was aware that I’m poly and how he felt about it. Amazingly, he said that when he’s in a relationship with someone he doesn’t feel he needs anyone else, but he’s fine if his partner wants to fuck other people, as long as she’s safe about it. I have to say, on some level being in a mono/poly relationship is a dream of mine; it means I could have all kinds of fun and yet never have to deal with my partner doing the same and possibly stirring up icky feelings in me. Lazy but true. At the same time, I feel like mono/poly might make me feel pretty pressured. I mean, being someone’s only partner? And maintaining other relationships of my own? There seems to be some potential for stress there. But The Puppy and I are nowhere near being in any kind of formal agreement so it’s moot.
When we reached my place, The Puppy did not ask to come in (which I’m so glad about – I love that he’s not in any rush). He did, however, get out of the car so he could properly hug and kiss me goodbye. Every time it seemed like we were finished kissing, one of us went back in for more…it took a few minutes for us to finally disengage. 😀
He made enthusiastic statements about us getting together again soon, and I agreed that this should happen, and then we went our separate ways.
The Puppy has since arrived home and posted pics of himself wearing his new leather gear. Within minutes, a bunch of women (and I think a couple of men) left pervy/admiring comments. One woman offered to beat The Puppy, and the way he responded to her it’s obvious they have in fact played before and this was not an idle threat. I knew he had play partners and I assumed his extreme cuteness doesn’t go unnoticed, but witnessing all the hullaballoo over these pics still made me feel a bit weird. Oh well. This, too, shall pass.
In other news, this morning I was fucking around on YouTube and stumbled over the concept of “hoop dancing” – basically, dancing sexy-like with the aid of a hula hoop. I’d seen people do this before but didn’t realize the practice had a name.
I have decided that I must learn how to hoop dance. I love how it looks, it sounds like a great way to exercise, it might benefit my modelling career in some way (okay, I may be reaching here) and I already dance in a swivelly, slinky, hip-centred way anyway so I don’t think it would be too hard to learn the basic moves. There are classes in my city, but I think I’d prefer to buy an instructional DVD and go it alone – if only because the classes take place at a time when a lot of places hold art classes and I don’t want to block myself from possible modelling jobs.
The one sucky thing is that my apartment is nowhere near big enough for this shit. But I live near a park so I figure I can watch the DVDs closely, maybe even practice the body movements in the mirror without a hoop, and then take my (theoretical) hoop (that I have not bought yet) to a secluded part of the park and practice there.
I told this plan to The Puppy – and lamented to him that a proper hoop apparently costs $80 – and he told me to check Craigslist just in case. I did that, and found a place that’s having a sale. Their hoops aren’t collapsible like the $80 ones (and the collapsibility option does sound convenient) but they’re just $25-$30. Fuck yeah.
I’ve got a fantasy of using nightclubs to practice. A few clubs that I like have mirrored walls next to the dance floor, and if I go early enough I’ll be the only one on the floor so there’ll be plenty of room. Plenty of space, a huge mirror to check my technique in, and awesome tunes to boot – sounds about perfect. This is of course only something I’d do if I got pretty good at hooping – I don’t mind the occasional fumble with people watching but I don’t want to be the hula hoop equivalent of those skater kids who hang out in parking lots trying to do tricks and fucking them up every. Single. Time.
If I get to a point where I’d hoop in a club with people watching me, I’ll totally spring for the $80 collapsible hoop. Easier to take on the bus.
These hoops usually have stripes of glittery tape on them in various colours, by the way – the shiny shiny prettiness makes me happy! You can also get LED hula hoops and hula hoops with wicks on them to set on fire. Not gonna lie, I covet an LED hoop pretty badly. But I’m sure they cost one squillion dollars. Plus I might never actually get good at hooping anyway. So, one step at a time.
*Especially because my own lips are thin…