I’m starting to wonder whether there’s going to be a pattern of guys going on one good date with me and then – for no apparent reason – never making a second one. Probably too soon to tell, but…
When I got home last night I messaged The Puppy to say I had a great time and let’s hang out again soon (and a bit of chatty stuff about me finding a cheap source of hula hoops on Craigslist so thanks for the tip, etc., etc.). He messaged back “sounds like a plan sexy.” Now, I tend to be sensitive (some might say oversensitive) to every little nuance of a person’s writing, and I have to say that the shortness of the message, coupled with the total lack of punctuation and the way he’s calling me “sexy” – it all seems kind of dismissive to me. I’m taking the last two things with a grain of salt because he’s not a very good writer/speller in general, but I really don’t love that the message is so brief and doesn’t say anything at all about when we might meet again. Not even a vague “I’m planning on being in your city in a week or two – I’ll let you know” kind of thing.
I just…it seems odd to me that before we met he was texting me every day, and when we met he paid for dinner, opened doors for me, asked to hold my hand, went back for “just one more goodbye kiss” several times at the end of the night, and made references all evening to a future in which we were still seeing each other…and then hours after that date I get “sounds like a plan sexy” and nothing else at all.
Meanwhile, Willow is back from his trip to New York – I know this because he’s been on FetLife “liking” every sexy naked picture of every woman in the damn world and not writing to me. I don’t want to leap on him the second he’s back and start pushing for another meeting; he might be travel-lagged or whatever. I mean I realize he’s not necessarily ignoring me or anything…he might just need decompression time. But it seems like I’m meeting some flakes lately, and also Willow is actively seeking new partners, plural, so I did send him a random little friendly message to remind him of my existence just in case I got lost in the shuffle. He sent me a friendly message back…with no offer of further hangouts. Fuck. Now what do I do?
The 33 year old from the other night also hasn’t written to me at all. I don’t mind, really – I am exactly 50/50 about him. Possibly he sensed that he’s into me more than vice-versa and is hanging back to see if I’ll continue talking to him or what (I probably will write to him – he has potential as a friend, if nothing else). Orrrrr, maybe every damn person I meet is gonna like me at the time and then lose interest later on.
I wonder if there’s some weird time-delay red flag I’m putting out there? I really don’t think so – I think probably it’s just that a lot of people doing the online dating thing get kid-in-a-candy-store syndrome and run off to chase the newest shiniest thing that comes along – but I would be remiss if I didn’t examine the common denominator of all these first-and-only dates, which is me. But, I mean…I’m not new to the whole dating thing. I know enough to put on an optimistic face, not talk too much about exes or past conquests, act like my life is awesome, be a good listener, etc. I’ve been told numerous times that my online profiles are an accurate representation of who I am – no nasty in-person surprises – and that I’m an excellent date.
Maybe I’m being paranoid and all of these guys will in fact request further dates without prompting. But if not…what the fuck is going on?