My meeting with the 27 year old poly dude went well. He keeps me in the loop about things (he ran late getting to our meeting place but sent me many text updates about where he was), sees eye to eye with me on feminist issues, is an exhibitionist, and is very cute.
He’s awesomely secure in his sexuality (which I love); he’s done sexual stuff with guys before and come to the conclusion that it didn’t really work for him and he’s straight – but he’s still willing to interact sexually with dudes if there’s a woman present who’d like to watch. It’s part of his exhibitionist nature; he wants to please others visually (which I also love).
For clarity’s sake I should give this dude a name. Ummmm okay, I’m gonna call him Willow because he is so tall and thin and willowy.
Willow told me an anecdote that I love for about a million reasons: there’s a swingers-club type place he goes to (largely just to use their spa facilities) and he was in the sauna and some dude came in and started jerking off while looking at him. Willow was annoyed by this, and told the dude “Hey, you don’t get to just come in here and jerk off to me without my consent. You need to ask permission.” And so the dude asked if it was okay to jerk off to Willow…and Willow said yes. And then preened and touched himself a bit to give the guy something to look at! But, then the jerking-off dude decided to push his luck and try to touch Willow, who was like “Dude. Didn’t I just explain to you about consent five minutes ago? I didn’t say you could touch me, so don’t.” Dude apologized and backed off…but then went back in again a minute later, so Willow was like “Okay, that’s it, you didn’t listen so now you don’t get to come while looking at me.” And he put his towel back on and left.
So yeah. Willow sounds fun. 😀
After a two or three hour conversation over coffee he walked me home, perhaps wanting to stretch out our together-time just a little longer. Along the way, he talked like it was just a foregone conclusion that we’d hang out again and assured me he’ll make time even though his next couple of months will be busy. At my front steps, he gave me a huuuuge long hug, we made a bit of last-minute chit-chat, and then he went back for a second hug – and kinda slid his hand down my arm to give my fingers one last little squeeze as I walked away.
I hope we do actually see each other again and this doesn’t just fade into nothing. The last adorable poly dude I met, The Hedonist, seemed sincere about getting together again, too (and still does; we text sometimes) but can never actually commit to a day and time. I’m not saying that The Hedonist’s flakiness impugns all poly dudes, mind you. But both Willow and The Hedonist are cute feminist poly exhibitionists and even have the same first name, so there’s an element of deja vu here.
But no. I’m going to think positively. Willow gives me a really good vibe…he seems really transparent in his thought processes, and even told me outright that he excels at scheduling and always makes the effort to keep in touch with the people he likes, even if it’s just to say “I’m too busy to hang out for the next while but FYI I miss you and wish we could hang out.” We seem to be very much on the same page re: being emotionally honest and letting people know where they stand – and my intuition tells me he’s not just saying this shit to impress me. I think he’s genuine.
With any luck, I shall be seeing him naked at some point. RAWR.