Usually I eat the same few things all the time, but yesterday I felt like a change (which usually means my mood is improving*, so yay!). I also felt like stepping out of my comfort zone (probably to prove to myself that I can still have a full life without a bf around to rescue me from the things that make me anxious).
So, I got gluten free Pizza Pizza for dinner. The ordering process twigged a bunch of my anxiety issues in a pretty huge way, but I did it – and actually it went totally smoothly. The counterguy was amazing.
The horrible downside is that, although the pizza was gluten free, I guess the crust was too carbohydratey for me, or contained some other ingredient that affects me badly, or something – I ate half of it last night, was high as a friggin’ kite all evening, and had big-time fuzzy brain and coma sleeps; I could barely wake up this
morning afternoon. Then when I did wake up, I ended up compulsively finishing the other half of the pizza. And then having a smoothie later to boost up my blood sugar again when I began to have a post-pizza crash. I really, really shouldn’t have fucked myself up today because I’m working first thing tomorrow morning, but…yeah.
The smoothie was fuckin’ amazing though. Almond milk, almond butter, banana, maple syrup, and decaf espresso, from a fancy-schmancy health food restaurant I went to with Kaija. I totally wanna go back for another on a day when I have not already messed up my blood sugar. 🙂
Health issues aside, I’m excited that I deviated from my usual food patterns and ordered take-out all by myself. One small step for the neurotypicals, one giant leap for me.
*When I’m depressed I don’t have the energy for decision-making, no matter how minor. I think that’s the biggest reason my diet is so samey.