Replies to my ad continue to trickle in – mostly from “switches” with no info on their profiles except a list of fetishes that are all about the mean things they like to do to women. And their messages to me are usually just like, “You sound interesting. Contact me if you’re interested back.” Why would I be interested in someone who a) is forcing me to make all the effort to get to know him and b) has a fetish list that essentially says he wants to tie up a woman in lingerie and heels and then violently fuck her throat and/or ass?
I feel pretty naive right now but I honestly had no idea so many guys would pretend to be into submission* just to get laid. Maybe the issue is partly that my kinks are comparatively tame: no CBT, no needleplay, no scat, just (more or less) rough sex that’s only rough in one direction.
Perhaps I should’ve mentioned crossdressing in my ad to deter the posers. I didn’t because I feel like I might be moving away from that a little bit lately, or at least needing a palate cleanser after Minx. Crossdressers are so narcissistic and high-maintenance. At the moment I’m liking the idea of finding a non-crossdresser who’ll cheerfully wear pretty things for me just ’cause I like it. Or, maybe I’ll just do without femme boys for a while. The Pedant is masculinity incarnate and he drives me into a fuckin’ frenzy all by his naked, furry self…maybe my tastes are evolving.
Oh, but also – I already knew this, but forgot – a lot of guys truly think they want to be submissive when really it’s just that their previous partners have been kind of sexually passive and they want a woman who takes a more active role – a woman who gets on top sometimes, initiates sometimes, makes them feel wanted. A lot of guys are insecure and wonder whether women really enjoy sex at all, and in fairness my particular…predilections leave no doubt. But in my experience I’m a little too hardcore for these folks – either I make them uncomfortable or they just don’t give me the kind of D/s feedback loop that I crave. I need an actual submissive.
*Hell, maybe they’re pretending to be dominant in order to get laid, too, and neither side of the “switch” designation is true for them.