A couple of years ago I had a birthday dinner thing and invited every friend I could think of – people from all different social groups. The conversation ended up being so awkward. For the last year or two, my friend Red and I and a couple of other people went clubbing for my birthday. This year, I barely even care about celebrating my birthday, but I think Red would find that weird and insist on doing something. So I’m beating her to the punch and organizing a small dinner outing comprising Red, her girlfriend, and some friends of mine who have met and liked them – that way the conversation should flow pretty smoothly and everyone should have a good time.
Annnnnnd also I’m lobbing The Pedant in there, for colour. 😛
I like the idea of integrating him into my life a bit more. Sometimes our dalliance feels kind of furtive to me – either we’re holed up in my apartment or we’re snuggling in dark movie theatres. Or sitting across from each other in restaurants, bantering but not touching. Or standing around in clubs, bantering but rarely touching. I’m probably reading too much into all of this; he did invite me to his birthday thing last year and he has fallen asleep on my shoulder before on public transit for all to see.
So probably The Pedant isn’t ashamed to be seen with me or anything. It does however seem that he handles non-monogamy differently from me; I’d act couple-y in public if I felt like it and just reassure anyone else I’m interested in that I am in fact still available. The Pedant (as per that old Facebook message from back in the day) would prefer not to act overtly affectionate or couple-y so that he always appears single (or at least there’s plausible deniability) and he doesn’t have to explain anything. Frankly, I’m not super-comfortable with this; The Pedant has said he thinks monogamy is an unreasonable expectation to put on anyone, so why does he appear to be playing to the monogamous crowd? I often wonder how likely it is that some chick will eventually pressure him to be exclusive and he’ll just cave.
Anyway. Maybe this dinner thing isn’t going to be any great revelation after all; I’m hesitant to kiss or snuggle him in front of people since I assume he wouldn’t go for that, so really we’ll just be sitting-separately-and-bantering again.
Orrrrr, maybe since it’s my friends present and not his, they won’t really count as an audience and he’ll be a bit more forthcoming with physical affection, as he is in movie theatres and other places where there’s nobody around that he really knows. Even then he usually waits for me to initiate, though. I’m trying to get the nerve to ask him outright “physical affection in front of my friends y/n?” but I figure that’ll probably open up a whole huge can of worms that I’m not necessarily ready to deal with yet.
Ohhhh but I can feel the pressure in my brain building up to a point where I’ll probably blurt my question out within the next few days and damn the consequences. 😛
Anyway, the bottom line is that he’s agreed to come out for dinner and this makes me happy.
Also, today I realized that I’d been assuming he would sleep over after but I didn’t actually know, so I texted him to ask if he’d come home with me. He replied, “Sure. I didn’t ask because the following day is a Monday…you’re free the next day?” I like the implication that he was wanting to sleep over but just shy about asking. 🙂 I told him that yes, I was free the next day; also that weekends vs. weekdays are sort of irrelevant in my line of work since figure drawing classes can happen any day of the week. And I clarified that any time I invite him to visit, he can assume he’s free to sleep over (unless I specify otherwise).
So…obsessive analysis aside, I am happy The Pedant will be coming for dinner and looking forward to having all the sex afterward. ALL OF IT. 😀