The next day with The Pedant

As always, I awoke first*.  The Pedant must have snuggle-pursued me across the mattress during the course of the night because I was lying right on the edge of the bed with him spooned tightly up behind me and enough empty space behind him that a whole other person could’ve fit there (and it’s only a double bed and The Pedant and I are both fairly large people!).

I disentangled myself from his arms, used the bathroom, and came back into the bedroom again, hoping I could get back to sleep; The Pedant hadn’t moved except to fling his arms over the edge of the bed, and I wondered if I would have to vault over him and lie on the other side instead of resuming my proper spot, but no: when I lifted the edge of the blanked he woke up a little bit and lifted his top arm to invite me back into his embrace.

Eventually it became clear that I wouldn’t be dozing off again.  I got up and puttered around in the kitchen for a while, eating random tidbits from the fridge, and then decided to fetch my laptop and bring it out to the living room.  Unfortunately, when I went to pluck the laptop from between the bed and the wall, the Hitachi Magic Wand (which must have been lying forgotten on the far edge of the bed) fell down in there and something bumped the on button, causing a hideous racket as the head of it started jackhammering the wall.  The Pedant and I both jumped about a foot in the air and I scrambled to turn the Hitachi off.  He was unequivocally awake by then.

We pretty quickly picked up where we’d left off the night before…The Pedant still had on the wrist restraints from the night before so it was easy to secure him to the bed.

Y’know, people seem to think that it’s just a chick thing to want foreplay, but I’ve noticed that if I brush against one of The Pedant’s nipples when we’re not in a sexytimes situation, it gets no reaction at all.  If I brush against it when we’ve begun to kiss, it’ll provoke a little moan.  But the longer we make out, the hotter and more responsive he gets.  Eventually he’ll get to a point where I can hover my mouth near his nipple and he’ll whimper and thrust his hips just from the feel of my breath.  Now, granted, I’ve never jumped The Pedant and tried to fuck him from a cold start, so I have no basis for comparison.  But I’m gonna go ahead and say that he probably needs lots of warming-up in order to fully enjoy sex.  Even though he is a boy.  Go figure.

Let me just diverge from the story for a moment to mention the whole thing where The Pedant keeps his eyes totally shut during all sexytimes ever.  I used to be insulted by this; I felt taken advantage of, like he must be picturing me as someone else, or as some anonymous body, or somehow just editing me out of the scene entirely.  But then I remembered how awkward he is at receiving compliments, and how much he seems to think dudes are supposed to uphold certain ideals of manly-man dominance in their interactions with women; I think he’s self conscious and very afraid of looking silly.  And I remembered that when I was a teenager with low-self-esteem, I always kept my eyes tightly shut during sex, not because I didn’t want to look at my partner but because I couldn’t stand the thought of them looking at me.  Easier to keep my eyes tightly shut and fervently imagine that the other person was, too.  I’m about 99% sure that’s what The Pedant is doing.

Anyway, I secured The Pedant’s wrists to the corners of the headboard, put a condom on him, and began to ride (and dude for the first time in probably years, I didn’t use any lube.  I didn’t need to.  Rendering The Pedant all breathy and nonverbal with my mad skillz had made me plenty wet all on its own).  Much like the last time we had sex, I took a wank break in the middle of the action because the feeling of him inside me made me need an orgasm or three.  I tried staying astride The Pedant and just leaning back and applying my Hitachi, but couldn’t quite get there.  I ended up dismounting and lying next to him, instead.  And like before, when he heard me getting to the edge of each orgasm, he craned his head toward me (as best he could with his wrists tied down) so we could kiss while I came.  So sweet.

And then I got back on and rode The Pedant to the finish.  Since his wrists were tied, he couldn’t grab my face and kiss me like last time (which I’m pretty sure was a ploy to make sure I couldn’t see his “O” face) so for the first time ever** I went ahead and blatantly stared.  Just ate him up with my eyes.  He doesn’t actually make a silly face at all; his cheeks flush and he frowns slightly, like someone concentrating or having a bad dream.  And makes a series of escalating sobbing/whimpering sounds. He is so goddamned beautiful.

I think it must have been a powerful orgasm for him; his body kept shuddering with little sporadic aftershocks.  I folded my torso down onto his (still on my knees with him inside me) and held and petted him until the shudders subsided.  Then I clambered off him and unclipped his restraints so we could cuddle for a while.

Oh!  I need to write this down for posterity…during the sex, I was saying stuff to him.  My orgasms had gotten me feeling all aggressive and mushy at the same time, and also I was trying to bring on The Pedant’s orgasm a little faster ’cause I was losing interest in being penetrated, so I was riffing in his ear while I fucked him.  Certain things I said seemed to get him going; others had no effect.  Calling him beautiful did nothing (but Imma keep saying it anyway because I don’t think I can even stop myself).  Telling him “Oh my god you made me come so hard” earned me a nice little gasp.  But what really intrigues me is that he gasped and moaned when I grabbed his throat and said “mine.”  Now, it may have been a coincidence that he gasped and moaned when he did – I was also vigorously fucking him, after all.  Or, his reaction may have been more about the fact that I’d grabbed his throat (which seems to be a thing for him) than the word I’d said.  But still.  This is…interesting.  I shall have to investigate more.

After some post-coital snuggling, I made us some food and we ate it in bed.  While we ate, I asked him what he likes about being tied up.  I’ve actually asked him that before and he said it’s so he won’t flail around and possibly hurt me; I silently called bullshit on that.  He’s not a flailer.  And this time around I figured he’d probably forgotten about that first conversation, so I asked again to see if he’d open up to me more.

This time, he gave me an answer that seems much more plausible: he said that sometimes during sexual activity, the stimulation gets to be too much and he either stops it or cringes away from it.  But he knows from experience that if he can somehow power through the feelings of overstimulation, the resulting orgasm is amazing.  So he wants to be tied up so he has to stay put and can’t retreat when things get intense.  I still don’t think that’s the whole reason he likes to be restrained; I’m certain there’s a submissive/bottomy thing going on here (I mean…he makes turned-on noises when I grab his throat, even when he’s already tied down.  He makes turned-on noises when I pin his wrists manually, even though he’s strong enough that he could easily toss me off.  He makes turned-on noises any time I roughly pull or push him into the position I want.  It seems there’s a pretty strong component there of just liking my aggression).  But maybe The Pedant isn’t ready to admit to submissive tendencies. Even to himself.

The “force me to hold still so you can fuck me even when I’m desperately trying to get away because it feels too good” thing totally turns my crank, though.  I really need to rig up some straps so I can restrain his ankles and not just his wrists.  And then I’ll put a pillow under his ass so he can’t flinch his hips backward, either.  RAWR.

…I wonder how I rate in bed compared to The Pedant’s other partners?  It sounds like most of his other lovers have been on the submissive side and in their early-to-mid 20s, and guys have told me a hundred times that chicks in that demographic tend to just “starfish” in bed and not contribute much of anything.  And then there’s me, taking the lead and getting on top and poring over every inch of his body with my mouth and fingers, seeking out all his erogenous zones.  Striving to hit three or more of his erogenous buttons simultaneously until he completely forgets how to use words.  Lavishing endless amounts of attention on him.  Flat out asking him, between sexings, how his body works and what he needs from me.  Tacitly intuiting other things he needs that he may not even know about, and doing them.

I dunno.  The Pedant has never told me exactly how he feels about me; he acts like he really likes me (what with all the snuggling and the sweet little favours he does for me) but I’ve been fooled before.  So I guess I’m hoping that even if he only sees me as a friend/fuckbuddy, maybe I’m so good at the fucking that that will keep him around for a good while.  I just don’t want to lose him, is all.

And once again I shall continue this story in another post, because apparently I have a lot to say.

*I suspect The Pedant sleeps better here than he does at home – and sleeps for ages to catch up on all the rest he’s been missing. The morning after his first sleepover he even told me he’d gotten more and better sleep that night than he had in ages.

**on other occasions I was always either kissing him or going to town on his nipples with my tongue or concentrating hard on maintaining the rhythm of whatever I was doing to him or whatever…


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4 responses to “The next day with The Pedant

  1. Fnord

    Sounds like you enjoyed yourselves.

    Another possibility for the “closing eyes” thing: He’s just not really a visual person. I’ll sometimes keep my eyes open during sex (seeing a partner’s O-face is, indeed, awesome), but other times I’ll close them, because I want to focus on my other senses, I want to focus on my partner’s scent, what her (it’s always been her, at least so far) skin feels like, the way I can feel her body move against mine (feeling a partner’s body as they have an orgasm is also awesome).

    It’s totally possible that, as you say, the Pedant is reluctant to admit to submissive tendencies. Men definitely do get the cultural message about needing to be dominant and in control, which can sometimes make admitting submissiveness difficult, even in kink communities. This is probably not really the place for an extended discussion of domism, but this can tie into that.

    That said, sexuality is complicated, and there could be a lot of stuff going on. I get a kick out of tying MYSELF up, and I’m not alone in this. And if you’re doing it to yourself, it doesn’t seem like it’s possible to be a matter of dominance versus submission. It’s just that the sense of confinement and controlled movement is fun.

  2. Another possibility for the “closing eyes” thing: He’s just not really a visual person.

    I’d considered that. But he does talk about women’s appearances all the time, and has specific physical traits he favours, and said his favourite porn is some site with candid naked (“naturalist”) pics mostly of Russian women. He rhapsodized at length about their “porcelain-white skin, dark hair, and ice-blue eyes.” So it seems like he’s pretty visual.

    I get a kick out of tying MYSELF up, and I’m not alone in this. And if you’re doing it to yourself, it doesn’t seem like it’s possible to be a matter of dominance versus submission. It’s just that the sense of confinement and controlled movement is fun.

    This is a good point; it may be that The Pedant’s interest in bondage is just a kink for being immobilized and has nothing to do with power exchange. Although as I said he seems to dig it when I’m aggressive so I feel like there’s something going on there. And the way he immediately goes so limp and passive with me that he barely even kisses back…I dunno. He’s confusing. But mostly I’m enjoying it.

    Next time we hook up I’m gonna insist we focus on me for a while, though.

  3. Pingback: Love languages | hiding in plain sight

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