I managed to tell The Pedant that I like him! And it went down almost exactly the way I predicted it would.* He’s a delightfully predictable boy in most ways.
But I’m gonna start at the beginning.
When The Pedant and I first made plans to hang out, he suggested last night as the time to do it; he said he had a concert he wanted to go to and I could accompany him if I wanted and then we’d come back to my place after. I investigated the concert and determined I didn’t like the bands enough to spend $20 (and also that I wasn’t feeling up to a night of chaotic loudness) so I told him to go without me but come over afterward. So The Pedant arrived here at about 2am (I’m a nightowl so this didn’t inconvenience me at all). He did an excellent job of texting me throughout the event to keep me informed of whether it was running on time and whether he’d get here when he said he would. It’s really lovely how he’s stepped up since I confronted him about his lateness and his vagueness with plans.
Anyway, he got here at 2am, and when he asked me how I was doing I told him, honestly, that I was feeling pretty stressed out. He asked me what was up, and I explained that the landlady is implementing a new system re: who’s taking out the garbage/recycling every week, and basically this new system screws me over big time [that’s the condensed version. He got to hear every little detail]. I told him this story as he took off his coat and shoes and then methodically removed all of his other clothing and put it in a plastic grocery bag for safekeeping (he’s extremely fastidious about his appearance and my apartment is full of white, floofy Bastardcat hairs). Apparently The Pedant isn’t shy about being naked around me anymore. I had to force myself to be casual and not stare or drool. Forming sentences became difficult.
We went into the bedroom and sat side-by-side on the edge of the bed, me in a tank top and flannel pants and him just naked and furry and gorgeous, as I kept ranting about the garbage thing. After a minute or two, he reached over and began massaging my shoulders, and started offering up some possible solutions to the situation. Also he told me he might know about some cheap apartments for rent.
And he just kept on massaging my neck/shoulders/back, and then lightly petting me, and when I’m stressed out my skin gets extremely sensitive so the pettings had me practically howling. So good. I could literally feel endorphins exploding in my brain like a tiny fireworks display.
“Feeling better?” The Pedant asked, after a while.
“Getting there,” I said, trying to catch my breath.
And then I started kissing him, and pretty soon I was straddling his lap and pushing his shoulders back onto the mattress and kissing him some more.
And I still find it so incredibly weird how the moment I start making out with The Pedant lately, he goes completely passive. Well, sometimes he’ll reach up and caress me a little bit as an afterthought, but mostly he just lies back with his arms splayed at head-level and his eyes shut, receiving whatever sensation I’m giving him. He doesn’t even kiss me – just parts his lips slightly and stays like that while I peruse his slack mouth however I want. And every single time this happens I feel a bit resentful at first and think about demanding that he participate more…and then he whimpers in that way that just goes straight to my clit and I end up lavishing attention on him all night.
And last night was no exception. I never remember to look at the clock while we’re going at it, but I’d bet that I was alternating between kissing his mouth, kissing his neck, fingering/licking his nipples, and fingering/licking his penis for an hour or more. And as usual he was just totally locked in his own little world inside his head, his face almost sternly composed and his eyes shut, making a steady stream of little whimpers and moans when I hit his sweet spots.
Eventually I decided it was time to fuck him. I wanted him immobilized while I did it, so I buckled the wrist restraints on him so I could clip them to the headboard. Before I secured him, though, I said “This will be the last chance you have to use your hands for a while” and, bless his heart, he actually took my hint and rose to the occasion, peeling my clothes off and caressing me from head to toe until I was writhing all over the place.
And then…he said “Sorry, exhaustion is taking over…”
I was like “Do you need to sleep?” and he said yes and (as usual) fell asleep pretty much immediately. I wish I knew how he does that.
So that was a bit frustrating. All his gorgeous sexy sounds had gotten me soaking wet and raring to go, but oh well. Actually I’m glad that happened because it makes me feel entitled to stop the action with him if I ever want to. Which of course I realize is my prerogative, anyway, but it’s difficult for me sometimes. I guess I worry that he mostly thinks of us as fuckbuddies and if I refuse the sex he’ll be like “WELL WHAT GOOD ARE YOU, THEN?!?” – although I’m sure I’m just being paranoid. We do so many other things together that don’t involve sex.
Anyway, The Pedant continues to astound me with how snuggly he is – somehow when he dozed off we ended up with our legs tangled together, his arm under my torso, and my face resting on his face. He actually burrowed his head under mine the way Bastardcat often does. No guy has ever done that with me before, let alone fallen asleep that way! You’d think the weight of my head would’ve been annoying.
For my part, I was having a hard time drifting off – partly because I was still so turned on and partly because The Pedant kept grinding his teeth and I could feel his jaw working against my face. I did fall asleep eventually, though – and no matter how often we changed positions in the night, The Pedant always ended up not just cuddled up to me but curled around me somehow. It interfered with my sleep a bit but I loved the closeness so much that I made no attempt to get away.
I’m gonna split this into two posts so it doesn’t turn into an epic novel.
*Here’s what I said in a previous post:
…sometime when we’re hanging out together and feeling relaxed and comfortable, I’m going to say “Y’know, when we first started hanging out, I never expected to become so fond of you.”
I am 99% sure that he won’t respond in kind, even if he feels it…probably he’ll just smirk and say something that digs for further compliments. ”You like having me around, do you?” or something like that…the answer to “You like having me around, do you?” would probably be “I do, yes. And not just the parts where we’re fucking! I like the other stuff, too.” I’m fairly sure his reaction to that will be to say “Glad to hear it” and to give me a little hug or squeeze.
This, then, is my way of telling him I regard him as more than just a fuckbuddy.