Stupid libido.

I totally just hit on some 23 year old on FetLife…and had second thoughts literally the moment after I hit “send”.

I’m not sure how much of my urge for companionship is genuine and how much of it is just wanting to feel pretty and desirable.  I’m also not sure how much of my urge to find a new boy is really just me wanting more of The Pedant but not being able to have it (since it’s become clear that his pace is different from mine).  Boys aren’t interchangeable; it’s possible that even if I meet someone interesting, it won’t really be satisfying because he’s not the boy I actually want.

Mind you, if I meet someone who’s not just interesting but really compatible with me, it will take the edge off this thing with The Pedant.

Possible pros about the new boy:

-He’s 23

-He’s cute, or at least appears to be in his pictures

-He has stated outright that he seeks a FWB

-He’s submissive (well, a submissive-leaning switch)

-He’s Aspie, which I potentially like – my theory is that socially awkward people are more likely to appreciate my straightforwardness than to find it gauche like the normals do

-He refers to himself as artsy and analytical

-He refers to himself as an exhibitionist

Possible cons about the new boy:

-He’s 23

-In a vague way he looks like Minx…which is fine, because Minx is cute, but if I’m responding to him because of the similarity then that’s probably not a good sign

-He’s Aspie, which may cause issues; hard to say yet

-In one of his writings he makes an offhanded remark about how much easier it is for women to get laid – which immediately tells me he’s not as feminist or enlightened as he thinks he is

-His fetish list includes enough mentions of lingerie/corsets/long hair/etc. (on women, not on him) that I worry he’s looking for some porn dream and not an actual woman.  Which is fine; if he wants a porn chick I’ll just bail, no harm/no foul.  Except that historically, guys who want the porn dream girl don’t fucking say so up front; they try to push me into becoming that girl.  So already I’m half-anticipating a fight.

-His profile says stuff about how he “tries to be entertaining,” “will do anything for a laugh” etc., which is often secret code for “I am annoyingly ‘on’ all the time and try way too hard to be funny.”

…But I’m getting ahead of myself.  He hasn’t actually responded to me yet; he may not.  Time to go focus on other things.

Edit: whoops, he’s not 23.  He’s 28.  Stupid Mac and its tiny screen…

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