Yesterday The Pedant asked to see me sometime this weekend. I suggested Sunday, even though part of me didn’t want to (I’ve had stuff to do every day for the past few days and want a break from it!). He said yes to this, but when I immediately texted back to say “Okay, when/where shall we meet?”………………..nothing. This was part of a conversation we were having via text; I know his phone was on him, and probably actually in his friggin’ hand. And he posted a Facebook status that he was staying that evening with a book and a cup of tea, so I know he wasn’t out with people/too distracted to reply/etc.
And, don’t forget, when I first texted him to ask if he wanted to hang out next week, he said “I do” but didn’t tell me which days he was free. And then when I suggested Friday he said “That should work” – should work, meaning there’s a chance he’s mistaken or that something else will come up. Jesus Christ, the process of trying to see this boy is like pulling teeth.
I like consistency and structure. I like feeling that my time is valued. I can not be having this bullshit. I don’t know if The Pedant is deliberately fucking with me or just really absent-minded, and I don’t care. It’s time to (as I privately think of it) yank on his leash.
So I just texted him the following:
Well, I haven’t gotten a confirmation of time/place for Sunday from you and I have other things I want to do. So, let’s forget that plan. I’ll see you Friday and if my schedule opens up before then I’ll let you know.
Not angry, not berating him. Just calmly letting him know that I’m a busy person and if he drags his ass on finalizing plans with me, he’ll lose his chance.
Even people who are sloppy or imprecise by nature can manage to pull themselves together at least a little bit if they know their sloppiness has consequences. I predict that this text will make The Pedant smarten up and make concrete plans with me in future. And if it doesn’t, the next time we’re making plans and he’s too vague I will goddamn tell him outright “I need to know ahead of time what we’re doing and when.”
I don’t understand this boy. When he’s with me, he treats me well, is a big snuggler, and never seems to want to leave. When he’s not with me, I try to make plans with him and he’s all “Yeah…maybe…we’ll see…” and can barely be bothered to give me a day/time. Which seems an awful lot like I’m his backup plan – like he’ll only finalize plans with me when he’s absolutely sure nothing better will come along. Or is it possible that he’s even more of an idiot at scheduling things than I am?