So, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve been trying to back off The Pedant a little bit. Partly so I don’t scare him off with clinginess, and partly because I don’t want to overdose on his company – I have a bad tendency to think “I enjoyed having this guy around before…so if I have him around twice as much, I’ll obviously enjoy it twice as much!” and that’s…really not how it works.
Also, I promised myself I’d finally clean the apartment (like, major rearranging and stuff) and the job feels pretty overwhelming so a lot of this craving to have him over is probably my subconscious trying to engineer excuses not to clean. Sad but true.
My head is a little clearer now. I’m going to focus on rearranging the apartment this week; give The Pedant a little space to miss me. But as for backing off and making him initiate our next get-together? I’m off that. Next week is the horndog week of my cycle and I’ll be damned if I spend it celibate because I’m too proud to call in reinforcements.
And anyway, I’ve sussed out that The Pedant is secretly a lot more uncertain and insecure than he lets on; he may very well be following my lead with this stuff (“If she wanted me over she probably would’ve asked me, and she hasn’t, so maybe I’d better just wait…”). Plus he might feel awkward about inviting himself over to someone else’s house (he lives with his parents and we’re both too poor to be going out much, so snuggles-at-my-place is kind of our default setting).
The astrological stuff I read about The Pedant also reassures me. If Tauruses are super duper into stability and security (and come to think of it The Pedant has made reference to appreciating these things) then maybe he’s not the kind of person who needs the chase. Maybe knowing that I definitely like him would make him feel closer to me, not more likely to bolt.
Anyway. I’m gonna go text The Pedant asking if he wants to hang out sometime next week. Then I’m gonna start overhauling the living room. BOO YAH.