Me: I bought a fairly huge silicone cock today. I may have to challenge you to a duel. By slapping your face. WITH MY PENIS.
Pedant: I’ve never challenged anyone in such a fashion, and I’ve had a penis for decades.
Me: So you have no imagination, is what you’re saying.
Pedant: No, I’m saying that’s crass even by my standards.
Me: Ooooooh low blow!
Gosh, he’s fun. I should fuck him sometime soon. Like…a lot.