My favourite sex toy website is having a sale, so I bought a Realdoe Slim and some water-based lube that’s supposed to be good for assplay.
OH GOD HELP ME. I just took a break from typing this entry to go order this dick, too. I almost ordered it the last time I went cock-shopping, but ended up getting this one instead* because it’s a more feasible size for sucking and fucking. But my manly pride wants a giant cock, and I know some small minority of dudes love something huge in their ass, so what the hell.
So now I have realistic penises in small, medium, and large.
These are all strictly for pegging (or fauxllatio) by the way. When I tried to picture inserting my current realistic-looking cock into myself, it made me feel queasy, which is kind of intriguing. No, each of these toys will be my cock, the same way a cis-guy’s cock is his. They will always be facing outward. I have other toys for use in my vagina; abstract, pink-or-purple toys.
The reasons for today’s toy-shopping rampage are threefold:
1) I am randomly horny lately (I did wank last night before ordering the Realdoe, just to make sure my head was relatively clear).
2) The site is having a sale, and each dick cost me about half of what it would’ve cost anywhere else. Perhaps I shouldn’t have spent the money, but if I waited til my financial situation is more stable, I’d probably end up spending way more to get the exact same items. And in the meantime I’d be sitting here with a very poor selection of penises with which to fuck boys. So.
3) My American friend Link is slated to be in my neck of the woods in June or so, and has been very vocal about his need to be assfucked.
Link’s idea is that he’ll stay with me for a few days, and during that time his ass will belong to me. As in, I can ambush him any time, anywhere, and stick anything I want into him. He talked about wearing something assless – jock-style underwear or whatever – so that I could have free access to him. Mind you, in June it’ll be warm enough that he won’t need clothing at all to be comfortable in my apartment, but I do enjoy the idea of assless underthings just as decoration so I say YES PLEASE.
Link is 28, built like a very slender brick shithouse, and in the right light could easily pass for Neil Patrick Harris, by the way. He also loves giving head and is one of the very few boys who’s gotten me off that way.
I am going to violate him so hard.
*But in the “cocoa” colour, which looks more natural on me – I’ve never seen a caucasian person whose penis was the same shade as the rest of their skin. It should be darker, yes?