Like one of my French girls.

I forgot to mention – when Minx was over the other night, I showed him “men ups” (a set of male pin-ups someone did).  Which got Minx thinking about the pin-ups I’ve done of him, I guess, because he shyly asked me if he could pose for me again sometime.

At the time, I said “Sure – I’m always happy to add more skinny, pretty boys to my roster.”  And Minx does have a particular coquettish quality that can be hard to find in a guy (plus, y’know, DAT ASS).

But then I immediately remembered that I’d been trying to get him to pose for me when we were together and he kept brushing me off (which, to me, is tantamount to being turned down repeatedly for sex.  Painting Minx was a way of me expressing my love and lust for him).  For the last year or more of our relationship I’d tell intermittently tell him I had an idea for a painting and needed reference photos for it, and he’d irritably tell me it wasn’t a good time/he was too sore from work/etc.  Bear in mind that a lot of the poses I had in mind were simple and unstrenuous and it takes five minutes or less to snap a damn picture.  I wasn’t asking him to strap on a 50-pound Vegas showgirl headdress and swing upside-down from the chandelier for five hours or anything.

So when we were together, the idea of posing for sexy photos was this huge imposition*.  But now…what?  He’s missing the attention?  He’s missing me, and trying to suck up to me by finally giving me something I’d been asking for for ages?  He’s realizing that it’s actually pretty cool to have someone lovingly and painstakingly render your body on canvas – over and over again until their living room is like a shrine to your ass – and that he had thoroughly taken that for granted while we were living together?

Maybe someday when my feelings settle a bit I’ll be able to use Minx as a model again.  Right now, though, I kinda want to go “Yeah…fuck you.  Too little, too late.”

In the meantime I have The Doll as a willing model, and possibly The Latent Heterosexual and The Hedonist as well.  SpankBoy would likely indulge me, too.  Link, for sure, when he comes over in June.  And there are tons of other guys out there who would find it an exciting novelty to be photographed and painted.

So…Minx may have missed the boat.

*This from a boy who spent 99.9% of his downtime either naked or in panties, by the way.  He likes being naked.  He likes wearing panties.  He likes feeling sexy, and would frequently gyrate or strike a pose when he caught me looking.  I don’t know why he stopped modelling for me, but I’m damn sure it wasn’t because the actual photo-taking was a huge deal.


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8 responses to “Like one of my French girls.

  1. Just A Slut

    I think Minx is willing to pose for you because he sees you are NOT waiting around and pining away for him. You are clearly moving on and having a damn good time NOT begging.

    Now he is arrogantly assuming you are just suddenly going to be availible for him when the timing is convenient for HIM not necessarily you.

    Sounds like EX Boyfriend Syndrom. Its not always that they want you back, they just don’t want to see other people want you either.

    Please proceed carefully with Minx. I’ve seen this before and you might get set up to be hurt when Minx’s competetition wears off and the game is over for him.

    I’m not saying this to hurt you. Just trying to be real. I had an Ex or two pull this game on me before. The rules never really change in the game.

    -Just A Slut

    • Please proceed carefully with Minx. I’ve seen this before and you might get set up to be hurt when Minx’s competetition wears off and the game is over for him.

      Minx and I have been on a non-speaking basis for three months and not once did I find myself thinking “Shit, I wish Minx was here so I could tell him about this/show him that/get his opinion on this other thing.” It threw me off when I bumped into him and actually enjoyed catching up, and for a second I thought “hey, maybe we could/should become friends!” but yeah…the fact that I never actually missed him is a pretty big sign.

      Plus, if I do hang out with him more, I know he’ll backslide once he thinks he “has” me, and all his irritating habits will come pouring back. Most guys would probably be like that, but Minx even more so. He likes puzzles and challenges but once he’s solved them he gets bored. It’s a big reason why our relationship failed in the first place.

      I’ll act pleasant toward him if we’re both at the same get-together, and I’m not against exchanging the odd email or text message, but that’s about it for me. I don’t want to take things past the “acquaintance” stage.

      So yeah. I appreciate your concern, but don’t worry, I got this. 🙂

  2. Just A Slut

    I bet you are just fine. This is my personal issues bleeding into my rant on your behalf. My bad. Probably just pms lol

  3. Just A Slut

    Clearly your inner awesome is what makes you take my rant so well lmao

  4. Vices

    I feel weird that I am always the one going “MINX HAS ADHD SEE HIS ADHD SYMPTOMS” but this is another classic example of how brain chemistry can affect a person. Now that you’re not his partner any more, Minx sees you as a challenge – a puzzle to be unlocked. And he thinks he has the keys, because you’ve told him what you like. Back when the puzzle was solved, it didn’t matter to him to keep maintaining the relationship. Now that you’re not around, suddenly he has a laser-like focus on How to Please Cowgirl because he wants to win.

    I’m really glad you guys had a nice time catching up, but I think you should stick with the instinct that says “have other guys model for you.” Minx is most likely not coming at this from a healthy place. Wanting to ‘win’ someone’s affection is not a good basis for a friendship.

    • I completely agree with you that Minx is just caught up in the challenge of winning me over.

      And even if he wasn’t coming at this from an unhealthy place – even if he only wanted to model because he enjoys the attention – I still wouldn’t much feel like photographing or painting him. a) That was an expression of love and I don’t love him anymore and b) I’m not particularly interested in boosting his ego. It’s not my job anymore.

      • Vices

        So true. Once you break up with someone, your responsibility for their good feelings is totally over. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that.

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