Boys, Minx, MOAR SHOPPING, and body image

The Doll is coming over tomorrow for another dinner-and-Red-Dwarf night.  

My emotional roller coaster continues.  I deliberately took this week off from dating (aside from dinner with SpankBoy, which ended up not being a date) but have been talking to The Doll online in the meantime and everything he said was adorable.  It got so I could hardly wait to see him again and was thinking of upping the frequency of our visits sometime soon – and probably the amount of sexual stuff in those visits, too.  But tonight his sparkling conversation skills abruptly failed me, and I’m certain it’s nothing he actually did but actually just that my expectations got raised too high and now I’m going into self-defense mode.

Sigh.

The day after tomorrow, I see The Pedant.  It’s just about the horndog week of my cycle so I think that ought to work out fairly well.  I have trepidation that he’ll say or do something stupid again, though.  And actually I find his sleepovers kind of intense and exhausting…maybe not because of all the sex per se but because the underlying hopes and expectations (me stressing because I can’t get him to orgasm, him being super duper focused on making me orgasm a bunch of times with little regard for what I’ve said about my body and the way it functions).

Saturday is my friend Red’s birthday bash.  She asked me how I’d feel about her inviting Minx – making it very clear that I’m her first priority and if I’d feel weird about having him there, she won’t ask him.  I love that she’s willing to do that.  I’m not sure I’m ready to see Minx again; but then again I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready, and we have a ton of mutual friends so it’s bound to happen sometime.  I’d prefer our first face-to-face contact to be in a controlled environment where I know it’s coming, so I said yes to Red inviting him.

Today I bought a new tv, which will be delivered within the next week or so.  It’s 32″, same as my current one, but it’s an LED television so it’ll take up a lot less room than the big CRT beast I have now.  And it has HDMI ports, so I’ll finally be able to stream Netflix on my tv using the device Ex bought me.  I’m really excited about that. 😀

The other day I woke up to find that a freak convergence of circumstances* had rendered my midsection tinier than I’ve seen it in a long time.  I got out my tape measure and ascertained that at that exact moment, my waist was the same circumference that it was back when I was a teenager.  Jeez, I was thin back then.  I never thought I was fat but I didn’t realize how slim I was, either, until looking at my suddenly 28″ waist in the mirror with my jaded middle-aged eyes.

My new micro-waist was gone the next morning, though.  Sometimes I get bloaty and I’m not sure yet which foods are causing it.  I’d like to find out; it sucks not knowing how poofy my stomach will be from day to day, not to mention how often or how loudly I’ll be farting. 😛

 

*I’ve been trying to cut down on the fat in my diet for the last few weeks, so I’d probably lost a little weight.  But mostly I’d pooped recently, plus I guess I’d been eating some magical combination of things that didn’t give me bloaty gas.

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