I Facebook-messaged Red some suggested guidelines for maintaining friendships with Minx and me at the same time, and she wrote me back saying that she’d only hung out with him that one time since he and I broke up – and that was because her girlfriend unthinkingly invited him to Christmas dinner and Red jumped in and nixed it (wanting to reserve that day for me) and said Minx could come visit right then if he wanted. There was already one other friend visiting Red’s at that time, and one or two more showed up later, and that’s how it snowballed.
So I’m feeling a bit better now. Plus, I guess I’ve been blowing Minx up into some kind of scary monster in my head but apparently when Red said she was bequeathing Christmas to me, he immediately agreed that she was right to do this and backed off quite amicably. So he may suck at being in a relationship with me but it doesn’t sound like he’s actually an asshole.
Also, he texted me today to let me know about a tv sale at his work (which I’d asked him to do, before we broke up – I figured there’d be some good deals on Boxing day) and we exchanged some cordial words. So that’s nice. He seems to be generally thinking of me and trying to be helpful. Maybe he has some idea there’s some atoning to do, after all.
Meanwhile, I am abruptly going through a phase where I wanna fuck the whole damn world – except I know that if I got an actual offer I’d probably chicken out. But I just felt so restricted and hemmed in and unfulfilled for so long, y’know? Even The Doll’s presence in my life is kind of chafing me because I worry that if I have adventures with other guys it’ll hurt his feelings (plus I don’t want to do anything much with someone else until we’ve talked about how much disclosure he wants of my activities) – so in an indirect way I’m feeling restricted again and I hate it. I’ll have to initiate more poly discussion with him soon and figure out where his head is at. Maybe he’s not actually a jealous person – who knows?
All right, I’m off to The Latent Heterosexual’s place for help shaving my head, plus hopefully some nonsexual snuggles and massages. 😀