Funny how time moves in slow motion when I’m angsting. It feels as though The Doll has been incommunicado for a ridiculous-huge amount of time, but in fact I wrote to him yesterday afternoon. He was on FetLife last night commenting on some discussion boards and yet didn’t he reply to my message (which is unusual for him, but not a surefire sign that Something is Wrong) and may not have been on since (also unusual for him, also not a sure sign that Something is Wrong).
So it’s feasible that he meant to write to me last night, then got distracted and has been busy ever since.
It’s still annoying, though, because today is Wednesday and the last time The Doll and I hung out I invited him to my apartment for a movie night on Friday without really hammering out the fine details. So now that’s up in the air and I don’t know whether to back off and wait for him to write, or to write him a second message in a row just to say “So, Friday! Does [plan] work for you?”
Under normal circumstance, when I have no reason at all to think someone’s flaking on me, I’d totally write a second message in a row just to go “Oh by the way let’s confirm those plans.” I wouldn’t wonder whether it looked too clingy or anything. So, in good faith, I guess I’ll do that now. And if he is being weird with me, this second message should force him to say something.
I feel like guys do the disappearing act because they think if they say “Sorry, I don’t want to see you anymore” I’ll scream and cry and demand an explanation. Little do they know that the disappearing itself puts me through way more stress than any rejection ever could, and that if someone rejected me I’d say “thank you for letting me know” and that would be the end of it. I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON SO I CAN ADJUST MY EXPECTATIONS ACCORDINGLY DAMMIT.