Crisis averted.

The Doll just wrote me a brief but perfectly normal email saying yes to board games on Monday, as I was 90% sure he would.  He didn’t reference my talk about breakup angst whatsoever, and I can’t help wondering why.  The options that occur to me are:

1) The thought that I’m still processing the end of Minx freaks him out and he hopes if he ignores this it will go away,

2) It’s actually not a big deal at all to him, so there’s no point in him addressing it, or

3) He didn’t even notice that part of my message because he was skimming through it rather quickly.

Well, I’m sure this won’t be the last time I push him to arm’s length for a few days so I can deal with residual Minx feelings, so I’m bound to get a reaction from The Doll eventually.  

On a separate note, I’d stopped commenting on people’s hot FetLife pics for a while, worrying that it might distress The Doll to see this on my feed, but fuck it – I want to be poly and acting like he’s the only boy in the world sets a bad precedent.  So I’m back to “loving” and commenting on stuff, albeit in a somewhat more restrained fashion than before – I only say stuff to people that I’d be comfortable watching The Doll say to others.  So, like, “This photo is adorably cheeky!  You look like a pin-up girl” instead of “OMG DAT ASS!!!!!!! <drools>”  (The Doll, as I have mentioned, “loves” pics on a regular basis, but always of people in head-to-toe latex – nothing too porny.  And he only “loves,” he never seems to comment.)

And speaking of eye candy, I just forwarded The Doll a couple of links to photos he might enjoy, because I like doing nice things for boys I’m seeing and because I want The Doll to know I support his kinks even if I’m not willing to fulfill all of them (wearing head-to-toe latex sounds like disgusting sweaty hell to me).

 

2 Comments

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2 responses to “Crisis averted.

  1. kaija24

    I’d take his lack of mentioning your breakup angst as a good thing…he clearly got your message and said he wants to go out again but he’s letting you deal with your stuff and giving you the time and space you requested…in other words, he *heard* you and is respecting your needs. In other words, you’re both being very adult and mature about it. I’d expect your close friends/female friends to latch onto the breakup angst bit and process it with you but not a fairly new date or male friend (not all, but many guys deal with these things differently). I think your message was honest and straightforward and cleared the air for you/gave you the weekend to do your thing and he was gracious about acknowledging it…win/win 🙂

    FWIW, when I was first dating The Lumberjack, we were both still processing some leftovers from bad endings of relationships gone bad and there were times when we each needed some time and space, and we addressed it without sharing details. In other words, we didn’t help each other process because a) I didn’t want to know the details of his deal and vice versa, only that we both were dealing with it productively, and b) by that time, I had learn to prioritize my own emotional needs and figured I wanted to process ME, not help someone else process. So yeah, different people/different pairs of people will respond differently. As long as you’re communicating, it’s cool 🙂

    • Oh, I’d never expect him to help me process anything. I was just thinking he might acknowledge it with a “good luck” or…something.

      But you’re right, his silence in this matter could very well be a respect thing, like gracefully ignoring it when someone bursts into tears at an inappropriate time. Just like that, actually.

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