Society fills us with a lot of weird messages when it comes to dating/romance/etc. Generally it seems as though everyone’s supposed to be operating under some kind of smokescreen at all times, with everyone playing some version of hard-to-get and nobody ever saying what they really mean. And god forbid a woman should ever take the initiative with a guy – chicks are supposed to just wait around for someone to notice them. Well, okay, maybe they can drop hints. But don’t ask someone out because apparently that’s a gigantic turn-off.
Except that I met The Hedonist, The Doll, Minx, and who knows how many dudes before them by coming up to them online and going “Hey, you seem interesting. Wanna talk?” and they did. And then I was like “Hey, wanna meet in person?” and they did. And sometime after I got home from said meeting I was like “Hey, I had fun. Let’s totally do it again” and guess what? NOBODY IS TURNED OFF BY THIS. Nobody has gone from being keen on me to being disgusted by me simply because I wrote a damn follow-up email.
And I see people lamenting that they’re not getting what they want, dating-wise, and yeah, some people are doing everything right but just have shitty luck, but many, many others are sitting around being all passive-aggressive and then getting mad that people aren’t picking up on their hints. “Why do other people get what they want and I never do?!” they wail.
Well…probably because other people actually ask for it.