Overthinking, as usual.

I know I ended last night by inviting The Doll to initiate another hangout with me, but a lot of people say shit like that at the end of a get-together and don’t really mean it.  Maybe The Doll thought I was just being polite when I offered future hangouts; maybe he was just being polite when he acted agreeable to the idea. I would like to concretely know where I stand.

Also, I was not flirty whatsoever that night (friendly, yes, but not in a coquettish way) so he probably has no idea that I find him attractive.  Would my budding attraction to him be a plus?  A minus (maybe I’m not his physical type at all?  He never saw any photos of me before last night…)?  Probably he should know about it before he makes any decisions.

So I messaged him this morning on FetLife and said this:


Hi [Doll],


Thank you so much for coaxing me out of my shell and into my very first munch! You made an excellent tour guide (and a cute one! Unless you’re uncomfortable being flirted with, in which case I totally just said “hirsute”).


I would like to continue getting to know you, if you’re into that. If you’re not, no hard feelings, it was a worthwhile outing either way. 🙂



I hope it doesn’t sound too self-defeating or low-self-esteemy that I acknowledged he might not want to see me again.  I think I’m pretty awesome to hang out with, actually…to the right person.  If he’s not that “right person”, I just wanted to give him a chance to say “no thanks” without fear of repercussion.  I hate when things are up in the air.  I want to know what’s going on, either way, so I can process it.

So now we play the waiting game.  He’s always responded to my messages quite promptly in the past, so I imagine I’ll be getting a reply from him sometime after 7pm when he’s home from work and maybe had a chance to settle in a bit.

Unless he finds the message itself offputtingly pushy to the point of making him run away, or he’s not that into me but too chickenshit to say so even though I’ve given him the perfect opportunity – in which case I guess I won’t hear anything.

Gah, I feel all weird for having put myself out there like that.  It’s making me kind of twitchy. 

1 Comment

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One response to “Overthinking, as usual.

  1. Don’t worry so much! (Which I know is rich coming from me, but still..) Your message is fine. 🙂

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