Merry Sexmas to ME!

You guys may remember me talking before about feeling sexually bored lately…like, even if I feel turned on, I can barely be bothered to wank.  I didn’t know whether my sex drive itself might be wonky or I needed more porn or for Minx to be more submissive or what.

I think I have discovered the problem.

As I’ve mentioned before, Minx’s wrist (and jaw, although my preferred method of orgasm has always been hand jobs) don’t generally have the stamina to get me off…so during the two years we’ve been together, the vast majority of my orgasms have been self-administered.  Self-administered while Minx made hot breathing noises in my ear or did sexy dances for me or told me made-up stories about threesomes, but self-administered nonetheless.  And I think I just got…bored.  Same thing happens when I’m unpartnered for long periods of time – although I always assumed it was due to my fantasies being too predictable, not my hand.

Anyway, when someone else gives me an orgasm it’s always way more physically powerful than the ones I give myself – and getting there is way more fun, too, since I’m not controlling the stimulation.  But unfortunately, when Minx tries to get me there I usually go into a feedback loop of worrying that his hand will tire out at a crucial moment and ruin my orgasm, which makes me unable to even get near the edge for fear that the stimulation will stop and everything will fall flat, which makes me worry even more that Minx’s hand will give out any second because all the worry is making things take longer than usual.  And by then too much time has gone by and Minx does have to stop.

I used to have the same worries with every new partner, actually, but I perfected the art of squishing down those worries and focusing on my destination…and it worked.  But in the beginning of our relationship, Minx had less hand-stamina than any of my previous partners…like, he’d be stimulating me for less than a minute before apologizing and telling me he needed to stop.  I come pretty fast but it damn sure takes longer than 60 seconds most days, so I kind of gave up on Minx doing it for me.

Yesterday, though, Minx was moving my vibrator on me (which is less taxing on his wrist and hand than a regular hand job, I think, and requires a much less manual dexterity) and I remembered how to focus like I used to, and KERPOW.  In two minutes or less he’d melted me into a hysterically giggling, almost-weeping, very relaxed puddle.  And he did it again today.  Fuck yeah.

And?  The sex that happened after those orgasms felt way, way better than usual.  Minx has a stupid-big cock* and I guess the climaxes I give myself have become so boring that they haven’t been relaxing my insides enough to comfortably accommodate him.  So lately, even if I have an orgasm or two beforehand, sex with Minx usually kind of hurts**.  Minx’s attentions with the vibrator, however, opened me up so nicely that all of him slid inside without bashing my cervix.

I made sure Minx realized what a revelatory thing it was for him to make me come, and pointed out that his forearms and hands will become stronger the more he does it.  He seems more than willing to keep on practising so his stamina goes up.  Also, I want to buy a few more vibrators of different shapes and levels of power so we can get me there in different ways.  I’m hoping to find something powerful enough that we barely even have to move it on me, but not so powerful that it hurts me or makes me go numb.  I’m thinking Hitachi Magic Wand with a jelly sleeve (possibly applied through several layers of blankets.  Or just pointed at me from across the room.).

Minx is also making a visible effort to act submissive more often.  His interest in subbing is fickle as hell, so I never feel like I can initiate, but some days he’ll murmur “pin me down” and look up at me with his big Minx eyes and I know he’s giving me tacit permission to bite, slap, spank, and trash-talk.  He’s been wearing my favourite outfit (a collar and nothing else ) more often, and today he did himself up in full girl mode (except for makeup, which I don’t like anyway) for my viewing pleasure.  He kept the top half of the outfit on while we fucked so our boobs would press together.

So yeah.  I’m happy.  And Minx has been a very good boy. <3

 

*It’s lovely, but it’s a lot more penis than I strictly need…I am given to believe that my vagina is quite a bit tighter than average, and I never did enjoy the feeling of being full-to-bursting.  I wanna be able to shove Minx down and fuck him hard and fast, dammit, and instead the sheer size of him forces me to take my time and adjust.  Feh.

**And not just me, either.  One time I flexed my kegel muscles as hard as I could (during sex that was already kind of awkward-fitting) and Minx said I was squeezing his penis to the point of actual pain.  I shouldn’t feel smug about this, but I totally do; I always thought his genitals had the power to hurt mine but not vice-versa.  Plus penises seem pretty impervious to squeezy-pain (I’ve squeezed guys’ dicks with my hand before, as hard as I could, to no visible effect) so I like to imagine that I have a bionic vagina that could crush very small cars.